


The Songs that Hurt to Hear

by dubusfluff



Category: 2yeon - Fandom, DaTzu - Fandom, Dubchaeng - Fandom, MoHyo - Fandom, SaChaeng - Fandom, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22103926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dubusfluff/pseuds/dubusfluff
Summary: Dahyun is a new music composition student ant university and shares her dorm with the beautiful Taiwanese modelling student, Tzuyu. At some point, though Dahyun starts getting jealous of all the girls that Tzuyu brings in to sleep with her. The girls that distract Tzuyu from her feelings.
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Kim Dahyun, Hirai Momo/Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Kang Seulgi/Myoui Mina, Kim Dahyun/Son Chaeyoung, Minatozaki Sana/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	1. Meet Kim Dahyun, (Gay) Panic Personified

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the first time that I'm releasing any of my creative writing, so like please go easy on me. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

Backpack, check. Computer, check. Signature single bun hairstyle, check. Lowkey kinda nervous, check. And most importantly, keyboard-that-was-kinda-heavy-to-carry-around-but-what-do-you-expect-as-a-new-composition-major, check.

Kim Dahyun was ready. “For what?”, you may be asking, dear reader, and she would answer to you (in a very exaggerated and dramatic tone) “Only for the most important day of my life!”

Today was the beginning of her new life. Today was the day that her very existence had been conceived for! (not really but let her dream) Today was her first day at the Multi-Year Arts School of the South! (MYASS for short)

This was all Dahyun had been waiting for ever since she got up that one spring morning, eyes crusty, to find herself barely breathing under the weight of her entire family on top of her, tears flowing down from her mother’s eyes. “What happened? Did something happen to Ari?!” she had managed to spit out. That assumption had been proven wrong fairly quickly as she had felt the puppy spread some saliva on her cheeks. Kinda nasty.

“You got accepted to MYASS!!” her mother had continued crying. “I what?” Dahyun had retorted, still bathed in confusion. “MYASS! You're in!!”

And so Dahyun had completed (what she believed to be) her destiny in life. She had gotten ready excitedly that morning, knowing that she could just fuck around for the remaining three months of school. Work was unnecessary now that she was accepted.

That day at school had been one of the most hectic. The most powerful (ex) couple, the two most popular and kind-hearted and beautiful and sweet and talented girls in school had both been accepted to the prestigious MYASS on the same day. The entire student body was in simultaneous shock and celebration for the girls.

Dubchaeng. Dahyun had once been half of that couple. The other half had been Son Chaeyoung.

On her way to the admissions office at MYASS with a sweaty forehead (from the long walk and definitely not from the nerves of being in this almost mystical environment to her), Dahyun wondered how her shorter ex was doing. She sometimes missed her Chaengie, as Dahyun used to call her. For valentines day in sophomore year, they had each exercised her greatest talents. Dahyun had composed and written a song for Chaeyoung, and the younger had made a portrait of her love. She was so sweet, and Dahyun had so much fun with her every time they were together. Like partners in crime, except they were also madly in love.

But they had broken up for the better. Sana had been too present in Dahyun’s mind and in her heart for the relation to stay healthy. It had been a hurtful breakup for both of them, and it did still hurt sometimes to think about it sometimes…

But it was for the better, Dahyun had to repeat to herself.

They had not been the first couple(?) to get accepted to MYASS at the same time though. The year before them had actually seen three girls from their school get accepted to the prestigious school. The Japanese exchange students Hirai Momo and Minatozaki Sana, along with the high school president Park Jihyo. Momo had gotten in as a dance major, Sana as a modelling major, and Jihyo as a singing major.

They were all beautiful girls (especially Sana, in Dahyun’s eyes), and Momo’s growing crush on Jihyo had been apparent since the beginning of their senior year. Apparently, according to Sana, they had started dating at the end of first year in MYASS, which Dahyun thought was good for them. Though they hadn't been as close to her as she was to Sana, Momo and Jihyo were still some of Dahyun’s best friends.

Sana had been like a best friend and older sister to Dahyun and had taken her under her wing when she had first arrived in freshman year in high school. Even still, after she had left for college, she would regularly come visit Dahyun in school. Even after she had broken up with her Chaengie. 

She would usually tell her about things like Mohyo, and other general things about life at MYASS and in college in general. Of course, Dahyun didn't care much for college romance drama or about the canteen food at MYASS. She used this time that they spent together as a manner to quench the draught that the raging crush that she had developed on the older Japanese would experience every time Sana would leave.

It had been brewing ever since they had gone to the beach that one time in Sana’s senior year. Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s junior year. 

Dubchaeng was thriving, they were constantly together, always happy and in love, and neither of the girls could ever imagine that they would someday end up apart. They had gone on a trip over a long weekend to Jeju Island and stayed in a hotel that they had been able to pay for with part time jobs. Sana had claimed to want to spend one last long weekend at Jeju island with her favorite girls before she would go to college.

On the second day of the trip, the girls had been out having fun on the beach. Sana was playing in the water with Chaeyoung, and Dahyun had joined a group of strangers not far from the others to play beach volleyball. Everything was normal.

Until Sana came out of the water.

The volleyball game had been on a water break. Dahyun had gone to get some water where they had set up camp. As she was drinking, she had suddenly been attacked by a new wave of dehydration which seemed to get worse the more she drank. 

Sana was hot.

She had been wearing a pair of denim mini shorts on top of a minty green one piece swimsuit that contrasted perfectly with her new bronze tan. Her hair had been tied into a small bun at the back of her head, and when she had let down the messy, wet locks onto her face, Dahyun could feel her heart accelerate. Her body proportions were not much less perfect than godlike proportions, her legs smooth and long supported a beautiful, slim body that radiated only beauty.

Dahyun had understood how she had gotten the idea of becoming a model.

That day, Dahyun had not paid attention to Chaeyoung whenever she was coming out of the water. Sana had been stuck in her head. And she had stayed there to this day.

Dahyun had felt so bad about herself for falling for Sana based on her appearance because Sana was so much more, and she knew that firsthand. On the bright side though, Dahyun had told herself, that meant that all of this was just a phase and that she would go back to being in love with Chaeyoung in a week tops.

That had all been a lie though.

She would find herself falling only deeper and deeper for Sana. And Sana wasn’t helping the situation either. Like that one time when Dahyun had a fight with her parents about which college she would attend, Dahyun left the house and headed straight to Sana’s. The Japanese had taken care of her like they were married and had stayed up for hours letting Dahyun cry and comforting her. Or that one other time when Dahyun had hurt herself while they were on a walk and Sana had given her a piggyback ride, and then had tended to her wounds when they got home. Or just even the constant shower of compliments and of skinship that Dahyun would receive whenever Sana was around.

Despite all of her feelings, she had still continued on with Chaeyoung, trying to find once more the feelings that she had once held for the younger. Because that had been love.

Whatever she was feeling for Sana had never and would never approach all of the feelings that Dahyun had once had for Chaeyoung. She had a huge crush on Sana that wasn't anywhere near gone or even dying down, and it wouldn’t be anytime soon. 

But the thing with Chaeyoung was that she could have been Dahyun’s soulmate.

At some point near the end of that year, Dahyun had begun thinking too much about Sana, and she wouldn't give enough of herself to Chaeyoung for things to continue working between them. Chaeyoung, of course had stayed patient with Dahyun, and had tried to get the older to open up to her, but it hadn't worked. No matter how many times she tried. And then one day, Dahyun had suddenly ended the relationship. Something about “someone else”.

Dahyun had hurt terribly when ending things like that because she still loved Chaeyoung with her entire being. Sana was just too present in her heart for the relationship to continue to be fair. So she had ended it.

Either way, that was all in the past, Dahyun thought, as she realized that she was now in front of the admissions office at MYASS. Enough thinking about the past; right now, it’s about MYASS!

  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  


Ugh, that was less than fun. At least Dahyun was headed to her dorm now, after an hour and a half of admissions business. It was all boring and unnecessary bullshit that they had already asked her on the, like, seven different application forms that they had sent her. All useless info too, if you asked her. But she digressed.

She had her dorm key now, and planned on spending the rest of the evening in hugging her bed. She still had a few days before the first day of class, so there was no issue in resting during those days, was there?

On the walk to her dorm, though, Dahyun couldn't stop thinking about who her roommate would be. They had given her her basic profile; Chou Tzuyu, a first year modelling student from Taiwan. But that was it. Dahyun kinda sped up (don't tell anyone) on her walking because she was so excited to meet this girl who was apparently already at their dorm.

I'm guessing you could imagine the shock on Dahyun’s face when she opened the door that was supposed to be the opening to her new life, and saw two girls in their underwear, making out on the couch.

Oh. Okay. 

She was probably in the wrong room, right? There was no way,  _ right _ ? No way that they had paired her up with a sex-crazed nympho who would bring in a girl to fuck while she was waiting for her new dormmate…  _ right _ ?

After a few seconds of Dahyun (who’s face, by the way, resembled a ladybug, except without the black spots) staring and attempting to process what was happening, she was forced to snap out of it.

“Can I help you?” the girl on top asked, clearly irritated that she and her partner had been interrupted. “Huh?... umm… OH! No, sorry, I got the wrong bra- underwear- UH DOOR. I got the wrong door. Sorry. I’ll leave you two at it then,” Dahyun vomited out as she slammed the door shut. Her words had been in as many shambles as her thoughts. They had been in so many shambles in fact that after closing the door, she leaned on the wall next to it, and slid down to the ground.

Thinking. Contemplating.

What had become of her destined day? Of the beginning of her new life? Of the epitome of her existence? Why did such foulness become the truth?

Oh wait. This was probably the wrong room, right? She had said so to the girl inside, so why would it not be the wrong room? Crossing every crossable limb on her body, Dahyun got up. With her eyes closed, of course. After a deep breath and a few seconds of resistance, she pried her eyes open.

What she saw made her gag. Room 701.

Now sweating, she dug through her pockets looking for the keys to her dorm. Room 701.

She rummaged through her bag, with a last sliver of hope, trying to find the paper containing her information that the admissions office lady had given to her. On it, Room 701, South Building.

UUUUUUUUUUUUH. Dahyun crumbled down to the ground again, thinking about her situation. Why? Why of all the new recruits in MYASS, why Kim Dahyun? What type of fucked up bullshit had she done in her past life to deserve this type of treatment? Why did she have to be paired with a girl who… who was having sex?

What had Dahyun been so afraid of until now? What had made her feel so scared to walk into that dorm and claim what was hers? She had been close with Sana, after all, who knew a bunch of people who had had sex. So why were these girls scaring her so much?

~~Wiping the tear that had formed itself in the corner of her right eye (strikethrough ordered by Dahyun herself),~~ Dahyun got up and mustered her newfound courage. With the most determined frown on her face, she picked up her bag and keyboard and stomped to the door  ~~ (she looked tiny, it was cute)(strikethrough ordered by Dahyun again) ~~ and grabbed the handle. Swinging the door open, her tonea blend of sternness, annoyance and anger, she started.

“Actually I wasn’t at the wrong door, and I came here to- IAFBILQBIESBGFVJDNVQLV/§VOKY%.KP?LAZOKENQPN?%ERNC!” Her voice morphed into an intelligible and intense intense blend of panic and fear.

The door closed just as quickly and aggressively as it had opened (and yes, Dahyun did keyboard mash in real life).

The girl on top was NAKED. And she was *BLEEP*ing the other girls *BLEEP* and the other girl was making weird sounds with her *BLEEP* and- and- and then… Dahyun broke down to the ground.

She felt as though  _ she _ was no longer a virgin. The two  _ other _ girls that were performing unholy rituals with each other had made Dahyun lose  _ her _ virginity. She felt soiled, nasty. As though she needed to go to church and confess.

She would be spending at least the whole of first year living with one of these girls. One of the girls who was currently either *BLEEP*ing or getting *BLEEP*ed on the COUCH OF THEIR UNIVERSITY DORM. BEFORE SCHOOL HAD EVEN STARTED.

If anything, this would be a long and interesting year for Dahyun. Long, at least.


	2. The Beauties and their Beasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this is a lot more angsty than the first chapter. I cried multiple times while writing this. Hope you enjoy?

Chaeyoung was numb.

Heading towards her new dorm, she wasn't feeling anything. Not the excitement she was meant to feel whenever this day would come. Not even the disappointment that it wasn't what she had hoped for or expected. Just nothing.

Ever since the breakup and everything that had followed during that last, agonizingly painful year in high school, she had just stopped feeling. Life was out of color for her.

Ironic, considering her status as a new concept art major at MYASS. Then again, a lot of things about here were pretty ironic. The girl she still loved had dumped her for the girl who (she was pretty sure) loved her.

See, Chaeyoung had always been a very observant person, always sharp. And she knew (from experience) how one acted when they were head over heels for someone. Also, Sana wasn't one bit subtle. Chaeyoung could basically physically smell her flirting.

"bUt sANa JuSt liKeS sKinSHip???" Chaeyoung could hear you, reader, straining your vocal chords. Yeah, Sana was a very hands-on person, but Chaeyoung was, once again, very observant. She saw how Sana acted around the others, her friends, even Dahyun. She would never caress Momo's hair like she did with Chaeyoung. She would never stare into Jihyo's big beautiful eyes like she would into Chaeyoung's. She would never snuggle into the Crook of Dahyun's neck like she would with Chaeyoung's.

It was just… different. And it was no small difference either, it was completely and fully love. Sana was in love with Chaeyoung.

Obviously, this was not the easiest to deal with for Chaeyoung. Although she loved the older Japanese, it wasn't the same type of love, it wasn't infatuation. She just loved her. But she wasn't in love with her

It was also offputting, considering Sana's relationship with Dahyun, who Chaeyoung sincerely believed had been the love of her life. They were just like sisters, and even though Sana was good at playing her feelings for Chaeyoung off (probably for her and Dahyun's relationship's sake), the younger had felt the three way tension that was present when they had all been together, in the times that had preceded their breakup.

Sana was focused on Chaeyoung, Chaeyoung was focused on Dahyun, and Dahyun was focused on Sana.

So close to being a classic love triangle situation. Except normal love triangles never start with a couple. And they were a couple.

Dubchaeng was real.

The only emotion that would come back to Chaeyoung from time to time was the colossal agony that she had felt whenever Dahyun had ended Dubchaeng. And it would be ruthless. Complete wrath.

Whenever she could start to feel it coming back, Chaeyoung had to remove herself from whatever she had been doing previously. Because this pain was not fine. It wasn't even logical. It didn't make sense for something to hurt so much. It haunted her, hid behind everything it could, and like a lion, it always waited for the perfect moment. The moment where Chaeyoung had the least control over things, the moment when she was feeling exhausted. Burnt out.

And then it pounced. It pounced and dug it's dagger-sharp fangs into her nape. And it stayed. And stayed. And stayed. She couldn't breathe whenever it was there. She always felt so helpless and useless. Like there was nothing to do.

And when it finally unclenched it's Herculean jaw from her neck, she was left a mess. A crying, hurting mess. The pain that felt like a lion during the assault usually quickly turned into a vampire, sucking her, draining her of all the energy she had left.

If her body hadn't needed sleep in order to survive, she wouldn't be able to sleep. She would spend hours crying, failing to block out all of the memories of the times she had had with Dahyun, all the fun they had had. Three years they had spent together. And the pain was unbearable.

Whenever she would feel a bit more at ease, she would call her interim mom, her unnie to which she could tell everything and who would always listen, probably her best friend (now that Dahyun was out), Jihyo.

She would always rush to her baby Chaeng's side, doing her best to comfort her and to make her feel better. But she never could because it was  _ impossible _ for Chaeyoung to feel better. She couldn't feel anything except this, this ravaging plague of a pain. 

And it made her scared. She was scared because she thought that she would never be able to love again, that she would never be able to feel whatever Dahyun had previously made her feel. Scared that she would never escape the grasp of this grand beast that would come to her whenever it would be hungry. Scared that she would never be able to be happy again. And most of all, scared that this occasional agony that she lived in anxiety from would cause her to never be able to forget about Dahyun and about what they had.

Because even though she couldn't feel it and had no way of confirming it, Chaeyoung knew that she still loved Dahyun with her entire being and more. The pain, she would tell herself to hold on tight and keep going, is nowhere near proportional to the love that you felt for her. 

Because if it was proportional, Chaeyoung would not be alive.

That thought had kept her going through senior year in high school, but she was almost at her breaking point. She needed a change. And MYASS was her change. 

She had requested an older roommate on purpose because she knew that she was going to need some guidance. Despite Jihyo also attending MYASS, she had her own things to worry about (like her new girlfriend Momo), and Chaeyoung always felt bad about being a bother to her unnie.

(MYASS didn't tell the first year students who their older roommates would be because authornim hadn't thought this through correctly… I'm sorry for the plothole but the show must go on)

Drowned in her thoughts, she had finally made it to her dorm building, West building. After a deep breath, crossing her fingers for a good roommate, Chaeyoung walked into the building.

Room 203, room 203. Second story, two doors to the right. She stopped in front of it. Deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Chaeyoung prayed for this to be her break. For everything to get better now. She prayed.

Ding dong~

She could faintly hear the sound of the bell through the door.

thump

thump

Thump

This place must be big considering the amount of steps that this very loud person is able to make before getting to the door.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

Okay this was concern-

The door flew open and from it emerged a blonde Japanese ball of happiness named Minatozaki Sana.

"Chaeyoungieeeeeee~!!!" She let the name run from her mouth and head right for the younger, very quickly following it with an intense spear hug that caught Chaeyoung by surprise as they both fell to the ground.

Chaeyoung could've sworn she saw a flash of color illuminate her grayscale world at the sound of her name in Sana’s seemingly innocently happy voice. 

Maybe…

But all of that wasn't important at the time. What was important was that she had gotten the best worst roommate possible.

The girl currently on all fours above her, staring deep into her eyes, breathing suggestively heavily was the same girl that was in love with her. She was also her ex's best friend forever. Her ex who tormented her memories, who had caught her heart, only to crush it into a million bulging-

"Chaeng, I missed youuuu~!" Sana's slightly whiny tone pulled Chaeyoung out of her thoughts, accompanied by a tight hug as she sat up against the wall.

Sana looked up with puppy eyes and a playful pout “Hmph. Gimme a forehead kiss.” Sana’s angy babie cutesy voice failed to get one of the panicked reactions she was used to getting from the younger girl, and instead was met with a small smirk that soon disappeared as she looked to the side. “Sana, we should probably go inside; don't wanna bother the neighbors anymore than we have already” Chaeyoung’s voice was as sweet as honey. But it was sad. Sana could feel that something wasn't okay, and she wasn't gonna let that slide without an explanation.

  
  


…

(Authornim says: Sana fully doesn't know that Dahyun is crushing on her very very hard cuz even though Dubu is no good at controlling her feelings, knows how to hide this type of stuff using pure over-caution. So yes, Sana has seen her acting weird, but doesn't suspect a crush.)

Once they were inside, Sana had given time to Chaeyoung to unpack and wash up. The younger girl emerged from her room in a slightly oversized light lavender shirt and gym shorts.

Stunning. Sana hadn't wanted to fall for the artist, but who could honestly blame her? I mean, Chaeyoung was only the sweetest, nicest, big hearted-est, loving-est, cutest, beautiful-est, hottest girl ever. And now that girl was her roommate.

If only she knew… If only she knew, then what? She was clearly still desperately in love with Dahyun, and no matter what Sana did, that didn't seem likely to change anytime soon. But didn’t Chaeyoung understand? Despite Sana’s love for Dahyun, she had been the first one to notice that Dahyun wasn't being a good girlfriend to Chaeyoung, and that hurt her. 

Because she knew Chaeng deserved better. And she knew if Chaeng had chosen her, she would have gotten what she deserved; everything.

Thinking about the breakup hurt Sana. Not only because it had hurt Chaeyoung, but because it was so apparent how much she still loved Dahyun. And so apparent how she would never feel anything close to that for Sana. Sana despised it. And a small part of her had been raging at Dahyun for 1) letting the greatest catch go, just like that, and 2) for hurting the woman that she loved so dearly.

The woman that she loved so dearly but would never be able to love freely. Never be able to show off to the world. She would never be able to shout from the rooftops that she was with the greatest girl to ever grace the surface of this planet. Never be able to get on one knee and ask the question. And most of all, she would never be loved back.

But if she loved her, she had to prioritize her happiness, Sana’s one half would argue whenever she was considering trying to get Dubchaeng back together. But wasn't Sana’s happiness also of the top priority? Maybe someday, Chaeyoung would grow out of her feelings, and Sana would have a chance, her other half would respond. Sana and her halves could always wait. Because Sana knew for a fact that whatever Chaeyoung felt for Dahyun was nowhere near a quarter of what Sana felt for Chaeyoung. 

Sana was ready to face the devil himself if it meant that her Chaeyoung were to feel a slight bit of happiness. She was ready to kick a dog for Chaeyoung. And who kicks dogs? Literally lot even the devil would harm a dog. But if it was for her strawberry-loving baby tiger, Sana would kick a dog. And do much worse things to it.

She had always tried to be discreet with her flirting; just get her dose of Chaeyoung for whenever they were together. The skinship that she practiced with her other friends was usually enough of a cover for how close she would get to the younger, but sometimes, Sana needed more.

Cuddling, kissing, nuzzling, even just staring. It was the least Sana could permit herself as a reward for surviving as a third wheel to the love of her life for so many years. Where had these feelings even originated from? How had Sana even fallen for this angel? Ah… it was that night, the memory popped back into the Japanese’s head. 

They were threeway cuddling on the couch in Dahyun’s room, one of the many nights that they had spent together, all three as a unit. Just watching a movie. Probably a bad one. The younger girls’ freshman year in high school and they had just recently started dating. Chaeyoung had, as usual, been in the middle, considering she was the smallest of the three, Sana leaning into her right side, both arms around her stomach. Dahyun had been half sitting in Chaeng’s left lap, while both girls leaned on each other, holding each other by the torso.

(Authornim says: it sounds awkward but i swear it looks cute in my head)

At some point in the movie there was a kiss scene. Sana had noticed both of the younger girl’s blushes at the situation, as if the kiss in the movie somehow entailed that they had to kiss as well.

“Well if you're not going to kiss her, then I will,” though the tone was a very joking one, Sana remembered the exact words that had left her lips that day. If she had one piece of advice for her younger self, to this day, it would be ‘ _ Don't kiss Chaeyoung whenever you're watching that movie. Or ever, at that. _ ’ It had been and still was the greatest mistake she had ever made.

A peck on the cheek.

That was all it took.

A peck on the cheek. And Sana immediately regretted everything. Because during the 0.03 seconds that Sana’s lips were in contact with Chaeyoung’s cheek, she felt everything. Everything.

She would try to compare it to something but she had never and hasn't to this day had an experience that was near anything to that one. It felt like how Sana imagined it would feel to be a shooting star, but that had a lot of happy unicorns living on it in harmony and pure bliss. Multiplied by at least 12000.

That was probably a trash example, but that just proves how surreal this kiss felt for Sana. And it took so much willpower that day to leave things at that kiss. Because she had wanted more. She had wanted to feel Chaeyoung, to become one with her (no sex here  ~~ yet ~~ just pure emotion). That was the biggest mistake of her life. Kissing Son Chaeyoung’s cheek that one night.

The sensation of Chaeyoung’s body settling itself within hers on their dorm couch at MYASS’s west building was enough to pull Sana out of her thoughts.

Chaeyoung knew that it probably wasn't the best idea to do this sort of thing right off the bat with Sana, considering the older girl’s feelings for her, but she needed some company. Maybe because she had been thinking about it earlier, but the pain was warning a comeback. She could feel the beast eyeing her, waiting for the right time to strike. She needed a poacher, a stronger beast, anything that could defeat that thing that was targeting her, and Sana was the only one around.

But Chaeyoung knew she could only hope. Even Jihyo, who had known Chaeng since elementary school, could never do anything to fight this beast of hers. And it always got her.

Sana started playing with Chaeyoung’s hair, the younger of the two leaning into her older counterpart, back turned to her. “Chaeyoung, I saw how you looked earlier in the hallway. Has everything been alright with you lately?” Chaeyoung could feel her lungs tighten at the question, making it harder to breathe. “You know you can tell me anything right? And I’ll always be here to support you.” Despite Sana’s tone oozing sincerity and genuine concern, all that Chaeyoung could feel was the beast’s sinful gaze locked onto her. It was closing in now, and it would pounce at any moment. “Is it perhaps… Dahy-”

“STOP! DONT MENTION HER NAME!” Chaeyoung was now crying. The pain had caught her. The beast had locked its jaw onto her nape. 

“Everytime I think of her, I just… It just…” She couldn't finish her sentence. She was hyperventilating. Fully experiencing the effects of the attack. All of the panic, all of the anxiety.

Agony.

Sana was also very panicked, all types of thoughts rushing through her mind. “Chaeyoung! Chaeyoung, look at me!” The words leaked out again and again as she moved to face the younger girl. Grabbing her nape, Sana repeated the words one more time, except this time, she was crying too, completely and utterly desperate to see the girls that she loved feel okay again. “Chaeyoung… I beg of you. Look at me. I'm here for you. Everything’s going to be alright. I’ll take care of you always, so please… please… I beg. Just look at me. Please.”

Chaeyoung, in all of her crippling pain, her hellish torture, despite being unable to breathe properly, despite the ringing in her ears overpowering everything that Sana could manage to say, something told Chaeyoung to look into Sana’ eyes. Despite her whole body against her, she managed to do as the something had told her; she set her gaze deep inside Sana’s big brown orbs.

And what she found there was a poacher. A stronger beast. Everything that could defeat that thing that was targeting her. She could feel the beast’s jaw weakening more and more the more she stared into the Japanese’s wet, leaking eyes. The beast finally let go after a few more seconds of staring, but Chaeyoung couldn't walk away free of danger so easily. She had to run.

And she ran (and we all know Chaeng is pretty fast). She ran and ran from the beast, finally finding an escape in Sana’s eyes. 

She burst into them, full speed.

And she felt.

She felt all types of things all types of emotions, all types of feelings, all types of experiences, all types of relationships.

She felt human.

Sana’s eyes were a safe space. They felt like home.

“Chaeyoung! Are you okay?!” Sana’s voice pulled Chaeyoung out of her eyes and back into her body. But the beast wasn’t there. She was no longer feeling pain. So what  _ was _ she feeling? It wasn't anything good. But it wasn't pain. Was it fear? Sorrow? Anger?

It was all three. A blend of all three. And Chaeyoung was feeling them. Chaeyoung who had only felt agony in the last year. She was feeling fear. And sorrow. And anger. It was Sana. Her eyes. They had done something to Chaeyoung. Something that could be good. But it wasn't right now.

Chaeyoung could feel the emotions that she was feeling, and they were no good. They got a hold of her, and instantly, she broke down in tears. She reached for Sana, but Sana reached her first. Everything felt horrible. Everything except for the lips that Sana placed on her forehead. Those felt warm and cozy (and they didn't stay on for long enough for Chaeyoung’s liking).

Sana took Chaeyoung’s head in a tight embrace. She felt safe. “You don’t have anything to worry about at all Chaengie. I’m here for you now. You're safe with me. And I love you.”

“Sana… it… it hurt… it hurt so much… it was so painful… I was so scared… I couldn't… I couldn't-” Chaeyoung burst deeper into tears. Sana only held her tighter and started softly rocking left to right. “I know Chaeyoung. I know. But I'm here now, and I swear I won't let you feel bad about anything again. Trust me. I’ll get you through this.”

After a few more moments of Chaeyoung’s sniffles and breaths resonating in the otherwise silent room, she finally calmed herself down. But both girls stayed together. As one. Sana soon began humming a tune, while still rocking her counterpart back and forth.

Chaeyoung felt at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter @dubusfluff (https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also find me on curious cat at https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff


	3. Cheating(?) Tzuyu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a lot of time, but I hope you enjoy!

This new girl would be a hassle to deal with. Tzuyu could tell. Not many good things would be coming from her.

After Tzuyu had been caught wet-handed with her hookup for the night, Doyeon, the entire mood had been killed. Not to mention the fact that her new 5”2’ blonde mess of a roommate had to move in; there was no way she was finishing her night with Doyeon, and that made her more than a bit ticked off.

But now mystery dwarf girl was standing in front of her, sweating a little, still visibly in shock, resting her one arm on her suitcase, the other holding her definitely oversized keyboard. She was just staring at things, an empty look in her wide eyes. Tzuyu was one of those things. Ugh, this was gonna be a long year for Tzuyu. Of all the hot girls at MYASS she could see herself going down on, she had to get the most lost looking, childish of all.

This Dahyun girl  _ was _ hot though. Tzuyu couldn't really dispute that. Her skin was butter-like, glistening under the light. Her eyes had an almond shape to them, complete with single eyelids that made her natural brown irises rich in color and in depth. She was short, but her proportions were still very model-like, and she was definitely in good physical shape. And even though her smile was nervous at the time, Tzuyu could tell that Dahyun had a beautiful smile in actuality, a smile that would brighten up the mood, anywhere it was seen. A big, toothy smile that would make her eyes scrunch up in cute little crescent shapes, the second it would appear. She knew all of this because she had spent years analyzing the face of one particular girl, who happened to share these features with Dahyun. Im Nayeon.

As Dahyun went into her room to wash up (a word not having left her lips since she had walked in), Tzuyu plopped herself on the couch, reminiscing. A second year acting major at MYASS, Nayeon was basically Tzuyu's mom, and had been since she had laid eyes on her. They had known each other since the beginning of Tzuyu's freshman year in high school, along with Jeongyeon (second year cinematography major at MYASS), Nayeon's best friend and girlfriend since before Tzuyu had even met them.

Tzuyu still vividly remembered the first words that had been spoken at her in high school. It was orientation day, and as everybody was talking and making friends, Tzuyu, being a shy girl from Taiwan, was sort of just looking around, in her own corner, talking to nobody. "Hey Jeong, She looks nice, let's adopt her!" a loud voice had echoed (it wasn't THAT loud) in the school gymnasium. "Oh good idea!" a taller girl had answered as they had started making way to Tzuyu.

At first, Tzuyu had been pretty shy with the older girls, going as far as pretending to have caught a cold, just so she wouldn't have to talk whenever they were together. Keep in mind, she had done this IN THE MIDDLE OF SEPTEMBER where the weather was much warmer than cold-inducing 

Over time though, things had gotten better for her social skills, and as things went on she had gotten comfortable around them. Like REAL comfortable. She would fall asleep with her arms around Jeongyeon on the bus on the way to school about 2 months into the year, and whenever Nayeon would tease her girlfriend about it, Jeongyeon would respond with a quick blush and a very embarrassed "... shut up,". A month before, she had already started are long Nayeon's food from her lunchbox, something that would always warrant a dose of fake offense, followed by a cute giggle from the older girl.

2yeon had both seen Tzuyu grow up into the woman that she was today, despite them only being a year older than her. They were the first people she had come out to when she discovered she was gay. And they had taken care of her through that whole journey. She was like their daughter/little sister at the same time, all while being their best friend. 

Like, if you thought Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Sana were close, then you definitely hadn't met these three. It was that deep.

You couldn't catch one of them without at least one of the others, and despite Tzuyu being the tallest, she would always find herself in the position of the group baby. She was always the one being spoon fed whenever they would go to the cafe, she was always the one who would sleep in between the others whenever they would have a sleepover, and she was always the victim of back hugs and cheek pinches from the older girls. And she lived for that.

They were a pretty popular group in school because of their friendly and approachable personalities and their collective beauty. But that also meant that no matter how approachable they looked, people would never try to join their friend group. They were alone at the top of the food chain in school.

See, authornim tried to make that seem sad and stuff, but the thing is that neither of the girls gave a shit about any of that, because they had each other. And they were all that they needed.

All three of the girls loved the dynamic that they had, and honestly, none of them ever wanted it to change. They were like a little family. Everything was happy.

Thinking back about those days still left a fuzzy and warm feeling in Tzuyu's heart. And she honestly wished than nothing would change about their dynamic even though they were now at MYASS.

There was what one could consider a very very really really really teeny tiny small little microscopic shadow of a problem with the girls otherwise perfect relationship. 

Tzuyu was madly, and I mean MADLY in love with Nayeon.

Like it was bad. Like  _ bad _ bad. Like "she is the literal only thing on my mind at all times" type of bad. Like "I've had wet dreams about her at times" type of bad. Like "she was literally my gay awakening" type of bad.

And Tzuyu hated it. She hated every part of it. She hated the fact that despite having spent literal years with Nayeon as her best friend, her heart would still speed up after seeing her smile. She hated the fact that she had seen these feelings coming a light year away. She hated the fact that she had so desperately tried to stop them from getting to her. And she hated the fact that her efforts had all miserably failed, leaving her so deeply in love with Nayeon and so deeply in hate with herself.

But who could blame her? Nayeon was and always had been at the very  _ very  _ worst, stunning. Inside and out. Her heart was pure gold, always putting Jeongyeon and Tzuyu in front of herself, always worrying about them, sacrificing her well being to make sure everything was good with them.

Tzuyu remembered how that same attribute of Nayeons’ had been her gay confirmation. Tzuyu had caught the flu right before New Year's Eve, when Nayeon and Jeongyeon were meant to go on a three day couples trip to spend the new year together. They had both worked their asses off at different part time jobs to get the money for this trip, and the instant they had heard from Tzuyu, they had dropped everything and rushed to her house. They had both had the exact same reaction, and Tzuyu loved Jeongyeon just as much as she loved Nayeon. It was just a different kind of love. And so it had hit her differently when she had seen her two favorite people burst into her room, both sweating and out of breath from running from the car to the apartment. 

But it had hit her extra differently when she had seen Nayeon’s concerned look, almost crying whenever she had first seen Tzuyu lying in bed. It hadn't been that deep in reality, but to Nayeon, just the possibility of someone who she loved being in the slightest of pains would trigger an amount of worry in her that would never be necessary in any situation of life. And it showed. And seeing that concern on Nayeon’s face had confirmed to Tzuyu that she was gay for her best friend.

That night, they had all spent the night at Tzuyu’s, watching stupid Christmas movies and anime OVAs, eating snacks and just being with each other. Probably not the best idea, considering they were all bedridden with the flu for New Year’s, but in the moment, everything had been worth it.

Some two months later, Tzuyu had come out to Nayeon and Jeongyeon, who had both chuckled to each other. “And this is news?” had been all to come out of Jeongyeon’s mouth, which had sent Nayeon rolling to the ground with laughter. Tzuyu had flushed red, really embarrassed, but deep down, she had been really happy and thankful to have them, and she couldn't have asked for any better friends.

None of that, though, could stop her feelings for Nayeon from evolving and becoming much more than just a ‘crush on her best friend’. And soon enough, in junior year of high school, she had reached her breaking point. It was becoming necessary for her to act on her feelings before 

they would either become unhealthy for her, or she would do something she would regret.

So she lost her virginity.

After long and grueling hours of tiring research (literally ‘how to fall out of love with somebody’ on google), she found out that in order to get somebody out of her head, she would have to do things with other people. Looking back, that was disgusting and terrible advice that would only end up being unhealthy for both parties participating in the sexy times. It was literally just using somebody as a tool.

And it did end up being unhealthy for Tzuyu. Being a beautiful girl, with a good heart, finding a quick fuck wasnt difficult for her whatsoever, and the Saturday after she had made that google search, she had woken up with Kim Seolhyun cuddled up on her bare body in a motel bed.

Sex was good, and Tzuyu liked it, just like any average person. But what made Tzuyu  _ love _ sex was the fact that she didnt have to be having it with whoever she was having it. They could be replaced by Nayeon. All of them.

Everytime she would have sex with somebody, she would be having it with Nayeon. And it was fucked up. To both parties. It was, she reiterated, literally just using somebody as a tool. And these poor girls didn't know anything about either. They might have thought that their relationships with Tzuyu were meaningful, and they might have been emotionally invested, into something that was a literal simulation fot Tzuyu. And she always felt horrible when thinking about the potential amount of hearts she had broken.

But she couldn't stop. ‘Nayeon’ was so good in bed. Tzuyu was addicted because sex with the real Nayeon had been one of the only things that she had wanted, so when she could experience that (in her mind at least), it was always bliss. 

And whenever she was outside of that state of mind, she would always feel ashamed of herself. Ashamed for deceiving the girls she slept with, for deceiving herself, for decieving Jeongyeon and, most of all, ashamed for deceiving Nayeon. 

The only person who happened to know about these forbidden feelings was Tzuyu’s only true friend outside of Nayeon and Jeongyeon, Myoui Mina. A Japanese student that had transferred to Korea a while ago, both of the foreigners had connected based on this common circumstance that they were in. Tzuyu obviously wasn't as close to her as she was with Nayeon and Jeongyeon, but they definitely would have been best friends if the older girls in each other’s lives hadn't taken up so much of their time. 

See, Mina had been on and off with this one girl named Seulgi in high school, and the relationship seemed really unhealthy for her. Whenever Tzuyu would get a chance, she would try to warn Mina of this relationship, but Mina was really in love with this Seulgi girl, and usually, she wouldn't hear it.

The thing, though, was that Tzuyu had gone to Mina’s rescue multiple times in cases when her heart had been left injured by Seulgi. She had even ditched Nayeon and Jeongyeon a couple of times to stay over at Mina’s and comfort her. And in those times, whenever Mina was feeling a little better, they would start talking about Tzuyu and her feelings for Nayeon, and how she was holding up, and how things were going with all the other girls she was copulating with. And Mina would make her feel better as well. 

But those feelings would usually stay at Mina’s place, because Tzuyu would always end up instantly either with Nayeon and Jeongyeon, or just having sex, soon after she would leave.

Whenever Nayeon and Jeongyeon would question her about her behavior and the “absurd amount of coochie she was eating” as Jeongyeon would phrase it, she would have to lie to them in order to stay undercover. She would dismiss the comments with a “Oh I just really like this girl,” or a “She's just good in bed,” and the elder girls wouldn't usually pry too much, but would always end the conversation with a warning: “Just make sure you don't get hurt baby Tzu.” But it was too late for that. And Tzuyu was alrea- 

Dahyun walked out of her room, with a pair of glasses on, seeming much more comfortable. She seemed to forget quick. She had changed into a very oversized baseball tee that almost fully overshadowed the black gym shorts that, in turn, exposed her pale legs. She had removed most of the makeup from her face, leaving her skin glowing in the apartment lights.

And her hair was down. That was hot. Tzuyu couldn't really lie to herself; the girl was attractive. And apparently not only on the outside, because Dahyun walked up to Tzuyu, handing her a box from her right hand that had emerged from behind her back. 

“Okay, so I know our first encounter wasn't the smoothest, but I bought these chocolates for you just so we could start off on the right foot.” Dahyun said, with a sort of apologetic smile on her face. Hmm. This new girl maybe wouldn't be as bad as Tzuyu had thought.

“Oh wow, that's actually really nice of you.” Tzuyu said in slight surprise. Dahyun let out a sigh of relief and plopped down on the couch, wiping her forehead as if she had been sweating. Somehow, this warranted a small amused chuckle from Tzuyu “You know, I'm trying to stay annoyed at you for, like, ruining my night, but if I’m honest you're making it a bit difficult.”

“Uh, thanks?” Dahyun chuckled out. “I just hope we can be friends, cuz like, it'd be hard to live with someone whomst I don't enjoy.”

“Did you say ‘whomst’? Oh my lord how old are you?” Tzuyu teased. “Hey, I learned how to speak the language correctly, okay?” Dahyun said, feigning offense before joining Tzuyu in laughter.

Yeah. This was good. At least much better than both girls had expected after that first meeting.

  
  


…

  
  


“Tzuyuuu~ were gonna be late,” Dahyun whined from outside of the younger girl’s room.

It had been a week since they had met each other, and they had honestly become very fast friends. Tzuyu had a very particular interest in legos (probably because she was friends with Jeongyeon  _ and _ Mina), and they had spent the whole first night talking about them. Dahyun had tried her hardest to be a good listener, but at some points, her boredom had gotten the best of her, and she had stopped listening.

On the second day, Dahyun had called Sana just to tell her that she had made the trip safely and that everything was alright. Apparently her roommate hadn't arrived yet, and she was expecting her in a few days. Sana had been a little weird on the phone, and had ended the conversation rather quickly, but Dahyun had only attributed that to the anticipation of her new roommate.

It also turned out that Tzuyu was a big baby at heart. Dahyun had cooked for both of them on the fifth day, and when she heard, she let out a high pitched squeal before hugging Dahyun from the back and doing a little victory dance. What was more, Tzuyu asked Dahyun to  _ feed _ her. Like take the spoon, scoop up some rice, and put it in Tzuyu’s mouth. Honestly it was pretty endearing, and the contrast with whatever Tzuyu had been doing whenever Dahyun at first met her was kinda funny.

Speaking of which, Tzuyu had brought Doyeon back to the dorm on the sixth day of the week (which happened to be yesterday) in order to finish what they had started on the first day. Of course, she had asked Dahyun if she felt comfortable, and Dahyun had said that as long as they kept themselves in Tzuyu’s room, she didn't have a problem.

That turned out to be a big lie, because they were LOUD. Like, the walls in the apartment were cement, and Dahyun could still hear both of the girls very clearly. Definitely too clearly for her liking. But she digressed. All that was on her mind right now was how late they were going to be to orientation if Tzuyu didn't hurry her ass up, orientation being all of the first and second year students meeting up at Pleasantly Peaceful Park (PP Park, or even just PP for short), and getting familiar with each other. Tzuyu had given one of her friends rendezvous in 15 minutes at PP Park, and Dahyun had texted Sana to see if they could meet up sometime at orientation, and she had accepted. And PP was at least 10 minutes away, so if Tzuyu wasnt out in the next 2 minutes, they would be late. And Dahyun was never late.

"Okay, okay I'm ready already. We can go now," Tzuyu came out of the room smiling, and Dahyun was a bit taken aback at her beauty. She was wearing a grayish turtleneck with simple dark jeans and short black boots. Considering it was the beginning of Fall, and the weather was getting a bit colder than usual, she also had on an orange-ish brown trench coat on top of the outfit. And she was attractive. She exuded this intimidating and powerful aura, all while keeping her natural friendly and inviting smile. Dahyun really liked that for whatever reason.

Either way, Tzuyu was ready, so they could finally head out. "Alright, let's go then," Dahyun said, flashing a smile at the taller girl before leading the way out.

On the way to PP, Tzuyu had talked a bit about her friend, how she was an acting major at MYASS, and how amazing she was and how much Dahyun was gonna love her and yaddi yaddi yadda. Before Dahyun knew it, they had arrived at the park. "Okay Tzu, I get it your friend is great. Now can you call her? We're at the park already and she hasn't showed up,"

"Oh this is the park?" Tzuyu questioned, sounding a bit sad that she had been cut off in her gushing. "Not just any park, this is PP!" a third voice answered from behind the now seated Taiwanese. Both Dahyun and Tzuyu's heads flew to face it.

"Nayeon!" Tzuyu's voice echoed in excitement.

"Nayeon?!" Dahyun's voice sounded in surprise.

Nayeon was as pretty as Dahyun remembered her. She was wearing a black leather jacket over a gray turtleneck, that very much resembled Tzuyu's. She had on a waist-high pair of tight black jeans that accentuated her long legs, and obviously she had to complete the outfit with a pair of black Chuck Taylors. Her skin was glowing, and even through her thick clothes, it was easy to tell that she worked out.

"Wait you know her?!" Both girl's heads spun to face each other, now both as surprised as Dahyun had been the first time. "Of course I know her! She's literally my best friend! I mean not my BEST best friend, she's just my friend. Either way, how come you know her?" Dahyun couldn't help but be distracted and smile at the thought of Tzuyu being a tsundere in public. It was obvious by how she was talking about Nayeon on the way to PP that she loved the older girl a lot more than she was letting known in public.

"She's one of my friend's friends," Dahyun answered, a bit more calmly. "And that friend would be me," Jihyo emerged from behind Nayeon, who was already laughing her ass off at the almost comedic situation. As if it wasn't going to get even more comedic.

"JIHYO?!?!" This time, both of the younger girls were just as shocked. Her hair was a bit shorter than shoulder length and now was almost curly, which was a big change from the straight long hair that Dahyun was used to seeing her with. She had on a pair of classic Adidas Stan Smiths, and was wearing a white Off-White t-shirt tucked into some blue bell bottom jeans, and a black blazer as her outer layer. 

Both Dahyun and Tzuyu just stayed put, both silent, both in a definitely exaggerated amount of shock, staring at each other, mouths gaping. This lasted for a good 20 seconds before they both dissolved into a fit of laughter, joining the older girls.

Interesting. This would be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter @dubusfluff (https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also ask me questions or tell me things on curious cat at https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff


	4. Knightesses of the Round Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluff this chapter. Mostly. Enjoy! :D

The walk to PP was pleasant for Sana. Especially considering her walk buddy was a certain very talented and pretty and fluffy and tinie ball of cute named Son Chaeyoung. They had spent the walk with Sana having to calm her down multiple times because she kept imagining the worse. It was cute though, seeing her freak out over Dahyun in a way that wasn’t harming her.

“But Sana what if we go and I see her and Ari’s there and then he sees me and gets excited and then she notices me because of the dog and then she says hi to me and I break down in tears and propose to her cuz i still really love her a whole lot and then she says no and all her friends start laughing at me and then she spits in my face and leaves?! Or what if I leave a-”

These stupidly unrealistic hypotheticals that Chaeyoung would come up with when she was in her ‘worry mode’ (which had always been a lot, but had definitely been accentuated since she had moved in with Sana) would always crack Sana up whenever the Japanese would have to hear them (which again, was a lot these days). But Sana was happy that nothing in the same vein as what had happened on their first day together had had to happen again. After all, she had made a promise to Chaeyoung.

“Hey Dahyun’s not like that, she wouldn't spit in your face. Not anymore, at least,” Sana had begun with a giggle which had evolved into a mischievous smile by the end. “Sanaaaa~... I’m being serious here,” Chaeyoung plaintively groaned, “Plus im still a virgin, so no spitting was performed during our relationship, thank you very much.”

“Oh really now, are you?” Sana almost mocked Chaeyoung. “Sure am! Wait...” Chaeyoung stopped herself as Sana burst into laughter. She was so damn cute. All that Sana could ask for. She stole a good glance at the younger girl. Chaeyoung was dressed in all black. Skinny jeans that highlighted her strong legs, a tucked in shirt, and a bomber jacket over it all. And of course it wouldn't be a Chaeyoung outfit without her signature Julia Boots that gave her at least an inch and a half. It was cute how she genuinely didn't care about how tall or short she was at any point, she just wore the shoes because she liked them. But what was even cuter were the skinny Ray Bans frames that hung from her ears and onto her nose. She had never needed glasses, but Momo had gotten her into wearing them either. And Sana was grateful to her for that. Because they made Chaeyoung very really much cute.

A lil cutie pout made its way onto Chaeyoung’s lips. “You still haven't answered my question, Sana. What happens if we go and I see her and Ari’s there-”

“Alright, alright I’ll no need to over all of that again, just gimme a second to compose myself,” Sana said, still choking on her laughter. After another half a minute of Sana’s loud gasps for air and Chaeyoung semi-frustrated pout, the Japanese finally managed to get a hold of her lungs, and calmed herself until she could speak normally.

“So wait, so you said what if you propose to Dahyun in tears and then she said no and spat on you and started laughing at you. Okay, so first, I would slap Dahyun multiple times because I raised her better than to spit in a non-consenting woman’s face. I would then also slap her friends who would be laughing at you. And then I would tell them to shoo, and I would wipe your tears.”

“Hmm. Okay. I mean, thanks for slapping them,” Chaeyoung said, a tinge of disappointment in her voice that neither of the two were paying enough attention to to detect. 

“Wait. You didn’t let me finish Chaeng,” Sana wasn't aware of what took hold of her as she suddenly stopped on the sidewalk, and cupped Chaeyoung's face with her gloved right hand. She couldn't even feel the obvious tension between them because she was so focused on trying to figure out what was happening.

“I would wipe your tears and take the ring in her stead. I would become your bride,” Sana said dead serious, gazing deep into Chaeyoung’s eyes. 

She had to fight to get control of her body from whatever force was doing this to her before it made her do something irreversible. What snapped her out of this trance or whatever it was was the heat from Chaeyoung’s flushed face, which made Sana pull back her hand quicker than a matador pulls their cape from a charging bull. “Just kidding! Hehe,” Sana couldn't even fool herself with that poor acting but it would have to do for the time being. She continued on towards the park, now a few steps in front of Chaeyoung so she didn't have to face her, with an accelerated pace.

Meanwhile, Chaeyoung was still glowing red. Whenever Sana would do the thing where she would lock eyes with her, some otherworldly shit would happen. Last time Chaeyoung had travelled to Sana’s eyes, she managed to feel the weird stuff that she had felt. It hadn’t happened since then, and she had still been just as emotionless as before. 

Except she had been more or less happy all throughout this first week at MYASS. It was a weird thing. Like her emotions were locked in a room and she couldn't access them, but they were making enough noise from the room for her to be able to deduce what emotions were making the most noise. But she couldn't feel them.

In any case, none of that was important now, because whenever Sana had stripped her soul of any privacy with those beautiful eyes of hers, the door had unlocked. The emotions had jumped back out, and like kindergarten kids after a long morning indoors, had released all of their pent up energy before being pushed back to the locked room whenever Sana had cut eye contact.

Sana was her recess.

Somehow, at least. This all still didn't seem too right to Chaeng. She was positive that if she had constant access to her emotions she would still find her heart playing the marimba at the thought of Dahyun, a marimba with very hard and hollow sticks that would hurt everytime they would hit. But a marimba that would nonetheless play a beautiful tune; the tune of her love for the butter-skinned beauty named-

What was she doing, this wasn't the time to be all cheesy and melancholic. She had to think.

Okay, so. Sana, she definitely didn't have any feelings for, because... it was Sana. A great older sister figure that would never give up on her or give her anything but love and support. But Sana did make her feel things that she otherwise wouldn't feel. Which was a rather broad statement, considering she couldn't feel anything in general. Her beast had also stayed dormant since she had moved in with Sana. But no feelings for Sana. Just her savior from this shitty situation she was in.

What was ironic, though, was the fact that Sana did in turn have feelings for Chaeyoung. And that made this more than a bit confusing to think about, because it made her question where she stood on the Dahyun-Sana spectrum. It wasn't a problem right now, Chaeyoung didn't have feelings for Sana, but she knew it would get confusing in the future.

Dahyun, on the other hand, Chaeyoung was pretty sure she was still madly in love with. She couldn't tell because her emotions were kindergarten children, but she had a slight hunch as to-

A familiar laugh cuts the air as the girls approach PP. A laugh too familiar for Chaeyoung. A laugh that she had grown accustomed, addicted to. The laugh of the same blonde girl who had torn her heart a year prior.

At this bittersweet sound, Chaeyoung could already feel the air have trouble reaching her lungs. The beast was awake.

At this realization, based purely on instinct, Chaeyoung lunges for Sana’s gloved hand that was resting in her coat pocket. “Hu- What? Chaeyoung what are you doing?!” Sana spins to face the younger girl, trying to cover her blush with her scarf.

That didn't matter, though, because Chaeyoung wouldn't have noticed. The second Sana saw the pure distraught plastered on her counterpart’s face, coupled with the tears threatening the corners of her big eyes and the difficulty she was having to breathe, she understood.

“Please, Sana… I need this,” Chaeyoung implored, already looking defeated. She noticed the older girl slow down, try to detect Dahyun. They had been supposed to meet after all. Chaeyoung didn't even know why she had chosen to tag along. She knew seeing Dahyun was going to make her react this way, but she guessed something about being with Sana made her feel confident.

She was apparently wrong, though. But only half wrong. Because now that her hand was in Sana’s, she was able to breathe, and though tears still threatened to leak from her orbs, her face wasn't scrunched up in fear and worry anymore. “Chaeyoung,” Sana turned back to her, seemingly after having found Dahyun "If you want to, we can go home. I don't want to make you suffer because she asked me to come see her."

A deep breath. A pause. A deep breath.

"I'm ready Sana. I'll be okay as long as… as long as you hold my hand," Chaeyoung admitted, admittedly a tiny bit embarrassed. "So don't let go."

Sana had to fight her blush from returning, and instead settled with an encouraging smile before leading her roommate by the hand to face her beast.

  
  


…

  
  


This orientation day at the PP felt more like a reunion of old and mutual friends, but Dahyun enjoyed it.

After Jihyo and Nayeon had joined her and Tzuyu the circle had kept on growing, starting with Tzuyu's apparently other best friend, and Nayeon's annoying girlfriend (as Tzuyu had described her), Jeongyeon. 

It also just happened that Jeongyeon was dorming with Seulgi (2nd year modelling student), who was Tzuyu's other best friend Mina's girlfriend, and so they had come together. 

It ALSO just happened that Mina (1st year dance student) was childhood friends with one of Dahyun's friends, Momo (2nd year dance student). And they were shared a dorm. And she was also Jihyo's girlfriend, but Dahyun already knew that from Sana.

Where was Sana by the way? Dahyun had texted her half an hour ago, now and not that it was out of character for Sana to be a little… carefree with her schedule, Dahyun would just have hoped that her crush would be a little more excited to see her.

Either way, Dahyun was currently having fun with all the other girls; the new acquaintances getting to know each other, the older friends teasing and chatting with each other. They were all seated around a table and Tzuyu was stuck in the middle of Nayeon and Jeongyeon, who were busy teasing her.

“Hey Tzuyu,” Nayeon said trying to contain a mocking laugh. “How’re you faring with such a pretty roommate, huh? Keeping it in your pants, or… y’know...” Jeongyeon followed with a very stupid smirk, clearly trying to get under Tzuyu’s skin.

And it worked. With everybody’s attention now on them, both her and Dahyun, who was busy making friends with Mina and Seulgi across the round table, instantly flushed red after hearing the joke. “Hey! Don't make jokes like that!” Tzuyu slapped Jeongyeon’s arm as all the other girls laughed in chorus. “Don't get me wrong though, Dahyun! I would definitely go down on- No! Not that. I would, but that's not what I wanted to say! Look, I meant that you're really attractive, alright?”

By this point, everybody on the table was dying of laughter, Momo and Jihyo almost falling to the ground. Dahyun and Tzuyu couldn’t be more embarrassed. Dahyun felt heat on her face. Like a lot. It was probably the most she had ever felt. And that had happened why? Because Chou Tzuyu, a girl whom she not only found very hot (and cute), but also for whom she had already taken a particular liking to (in part because she had no choice, Tzuyu being her roommate and all), had just called her “really attractive.” 

Now, this newborn-baby (and strictly platonic) relationship that Dahyun and Tzuyu had shouldn't have been enough to warrant this sort of reaction from Dahyun, which was why she was so confused at whatever this effect had been. It was something to note.

“Wait a second. Is that something that she does? She has a lot of sex?” Dahyun perked up, the realization finally having hit her. “Oh, yeah, all the time,” Nayeon fit the words between her laughter, still roaring.

“Oh~~ so  _ that’s _ why,” Dahyun said, a proud smirk now spread on her lips, her eyes fixed on Tzuyu. It took a few seconds of confusion for the taller girl to realize what the hot midget was talking about, until her eyes widened. “Dahyun, don’t you dare.”

“Wait what happened?” Jihyo eagerly questioned, still recovering from the fall she almost took while laughing.

“Would y’all like to know the story of how I met Tzuyu?” Dahyun proposed, looking as smug as anybody had ever seen her

“Dahyun, I’m warning you,” Tzuyu was half serious by now, still recovering from the original blush that had started this.

“Spill!” Mina’s voice sounded, pretty eagerly too.

“Mina… you would do this to your best friend?” Tzuyu half-faked offense.

“Okay are you guys ready?” Dahyun teased one more time.

“YES!” All the girls sounded in choir.

“Dahyun I swear to god I  _ will _ end you once we get home,” Tzuyu had given up on disputing by now and just took it all lying down.

“Only if you end me as hard as you ended that Doyeon girl’s vajayjay.” Dahyun slyly smirked.

“WAIT WHAT WHO WHEN WHERE WHY” Jeongyeon barked in simultaneous shock and amusement, as all the other girls shared the same surprised laughter. By this point, Tzuyu’s face was buried in her hands, leaving a bit of space for Dahyun to see the death glare that the Taiwanese was shooting at her. Her blush was visible from behind her hands

“My first interaction with this seemingly innocent girl was me witnessing her eat coochie. On our DORM COUCH,” Dahyun started explaining the story of how the girls had met, the others laughing their asses off the whole time. Tzuyu’s face stayed buried the whole time as well, giving Dahyun the death glare. Honestly she wasn't even really embarrassed or mad at all, most people present knew about her antics and it didn't really bother her at all. It was mostly just for comedic value that she was acting this way.

She could tell that Dahyin could tell, too, that she wasn't really uncomfortable. She had only known Dahyun for a little more than a week, but one thing that she knew for sure was that this girl was at least an angel sent straight from the heavens. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt anything in existence, even non-living things.

One time, she had gotten mad because she had spilled her food on herself, and when she had headed on the way to the bathroom to clean up, Tzuyu could see her walking weirdly. When dahyun had returned, Tzuyu had asked her if everything was okay and why she had been walking like that.

This girl legit deadass seriously with a perfectly straight face, looked Tzuyu in the eye and said the following words: “I try not to stomp my feet when I’m mad even if I want to, cuz its gonna hurt the ground.” Dahyun was scared of stomping her feet by fear of it  _ hurting the ground _ . That still sounded like something that a person who was either high or on an LSD trip would say, but this girl was fully sober. And fully serious too.

That side of her was kinda charming, though. There was something really precious about never wanting to do harm to anything, sort of like living in a fantasy world where reality isn’t a thing, and innocence actually stands a chance. It gave Tzuyu a sort of sense of duty towards Dahyun. Sort of “I need to protect that innocence” sort of feelings. And either way-

Nayeon’s hands grab Tzuyu by the waist as her laughter pulls Tzuyu out of thought, leaning on the taller girl to stop her from falling to the ground from laughter.

Shit. She had forgotten how in love she was with this girl.

Luckily, her face was still mostly covered, and everybody was too busy listening to Dahyun to notice how red it had suddenly gotten. But it was really red.

As Dahyun went on with the story, though, the intensity of Nayeon's laughter increased, causing her grip on Tzuyu's waist to tighten.

And Tzuyu loved every second of it. She loved the warmth that Nayeon provided, she comfort of being in her arms. She loved the fact that even though she was getting clowned by her, Nayeon's laugh was still the most beautiful sound shed ever heard. And, among a plethora of other things, she loved how fast Nayeon would make her heart run.

And Tzuyu hated all of that. She hated that she loved it, she hated that she loved  _ her _ . Because she wouldn't ever be able to have her.

Mina, who had run out of laughter by this point, recognized the blush in Tzuyu's face. the same one that she would always have around Nayeon. The same one Mina used to have around Seulgi.

Now wasn't the time to think about her past with Seulgi, though. She had to do something to get Tzuyu out of that situation. It wasn't healthy for her to keep feeling these things for Nayeon.

Luckily, though, somebody beat Mina to it.

Just as Dahyun finished explaining the story, everybody in a fit of laughter, herself included, she suddenly felt a certain presence. A presence that she knew probably too well for her own good.

Still laughing, she spun around to find a certain pink haired Japanese modelling student.

"Sana!" Dahyun let out with excitement and relief. Probably relief that Sana had showed up and had not left her hanging.

But something was off. Sana didn't reciprocate Dahyun's eagerness as much as she usually did. Usually, Sana wouldn't even have let Dahyun turn around before assaulting her with a back hug and a few kisses. But now she stood at a few arms distance from Dahyun, her left hand in her coat pocket, her right hand waving at Dahyun with an almost apologetic smile. her voice sounded to Dahyun almost as cold as the gust of autumn wind that hit as she uttered the simple words "Hi Dahyun. I brought my roommate."

And then it made sense. Why Sana had been acting weird ever since Dahyun had gotten to MYASS. Why she hadn't rushed to see her at any occasion she could as she used to. Why she was standing 6 feet away from Dahyun.

And Dahyun's heart sank. Real deep. It was her.

A timid looking Chaeyoung emerged from behind Sana, her right hand intertwined with Sana's left. Resting in Sana's coat pocket.

She was as beautiful as she had ever been, but she didn't seem okay. At all. Her eyebrows were somewhat scrunched, angling up towards her widow's peak. It seemed permanent. Like she was in a constant state of worry and caution.

Her smile lines were gone… The wrinkles that Dahyun would always tease. She hadn't been smiling…

The bags under her eyes were extremely pronounced, even under the layer of makeup that she had on. She had been losing sleep...

Here eyes were also faintly puffier than they usually were. She had cried, and fairly recently apparently...

Her honey had turned into a very pale shade of a greenish gray color. She hadn't been going out...

Had… had Dahyun done this to her? Was she the cause of this? How much had the breakup… hurt Chaeyoung?

A wave of guilt and shame and hurt engulfed Dahyun as she fought to keep the dam of tears from breaking on her. It was painful to see Chaeyoung like this. It was painful because Dahyun still cared for Chaeyoung. 

She still had intense feelings for Chaeyoung.

"Hey Dahyun," Dahyun felt needles stabbing at her being. Her voice. Chaeyoung had tried to coat it in as much sweetness as she could, but she couldn't fully hide that something was wrong. And the fact that her voice only betrayed that something had been  _ a little _ off was what pained Dahyun so much. Because Dahyun could easily tell that she was so much more than just ‘a little off’. But she was trying to hide that. For Dahyun.

“Hi, Chaeyoung. It's been a while,” Dahyun used her everything to not break into tears while uttering those words. She was about to continue, but Jihyo and Momo, who had approached from behind, found themselves pulling Chaeyoung into a tight group hug, proclaiming how much they had both missed her.

But Chaeyoung pulled Sana closer to her, even as the other two were engulfing her. And that stung Dahyun in the very opposite way that she was feeling pain for hurting Chaeyoung. It was jealousy. 

And as the the hug dissolved and Sana took Chaeyoung’s hand in her coat pocket before heading to join all the others around the table, Dahyun felt the sting from earlier evolve into a burn that she felt straight on her heart. She wasn't in the right by any means, but she really couldn't help herself from wondering and hurting at the thought of how Chaeyoung and Sana’s relationship had evolved and would evolve.

After all, she still had feelings for both girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter @dubusfluff (https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also ask me questions or tell me things on curious cat at https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff


	5. Chaeng Happy Dubu Sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeeeeeee Okay so this chapter was definetly the longest to write, but I really had a lot of un with it. Spoiler: theres a lot of fluff
> 
> Also I'm sorry I couldnt get this out yesterday, because I usually try to get these out by Friday, but this week was very hectic for me and i couldn't write as much as I wanted to.
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy, and I'll try to have chapter 6 out on Friday.

The rest of this big ‘orientation’ meetup felt… off. 

Though most of the girls were still making jokes and laughing, there was constantly a weird, and very heavy, tension between the rumored ex-inseparable trio, Sana, Dahyun and Chaeyoung. Sana had led Chaeyoung to the opposite side of the table from Dahyun and, and the younger was seated in between Sana and Jihyo, her hand still stationed in Sana’s inside her coat pocket.

Tzuyu also noticed that Dahyun wasn’t sitting right, that something was the issue with her. She constantly had this small look of worry on her face, concern. Tzuyu couldn't place a finger on it, probably because her heart was beating too fast at Nayeon, who was now cuddled up and leaning into her right side, tightly holding her waist, but these three girls had some odd history.

Tzuyu was actually amazed that she was even able to think about Dahyun during her ‘Flirtyeon time’ as she had privately dubbed it. Whenever she was with Nayeon, and the Korean was being flirty, it would be Flirtyeon time. The time where she had the opportunity to let herself go, forget the pain that all of this was causing her, and just imagine how it would be if she could lay her lips on Nayeon’s whenever she desired so (which was a lot).

Jeongyeon wouldn't get jealous of this, ever, because she knew the sort of relationship that Nayeon shared with Tzuyu; after all, she shared the same sort of relationship. On a surface level, there was nothing wrong or that could potentially hurt anybody. On a  _ surface _ level, that is. But there was no way that Tzuyu was ever going to let Jeongyeon discover about these feelings. She would just enjoy her Flirtyeon time on her own, and let these feelings dissipate naturally, no matter how much time the process would take.

  
  


…

  
  


“Okay, so it's already getting dark, I think we should start heading back to the dorms," Jihyo stood up. Today had been a strange day for her. She had seen Chaeng for the first time in a while, which was always good, and somehow, she seemed a little happier than she had been in the past few months. She laughed more, her skin was a little less pale, and she just seemed to be having a better time in general.

Something else that Jihyo noticed was that Chaeyoung didn't have a breakdown. Not even a bit of sweat, or some heavy breathing, or any of the other symptoms that Jihyo had gotten to know a bit too well. And seeing Dahyun normally would have brought back the memories of their time, and would 100% have made her lose her shit. And Jihyo knew that. So when Chaeng didn't even show a shadow of a symptom, Jihyo was not only really relieved, but also very surprised. When she had thought about it for a bit, after half an hour had passed and Chaeng had been fine, Jihyo realized. 

It was Sana. Chae had been holding Sana’s hand ever since they had gotten to the park (and maybe even before that?) and she hadn’t let go once during the whole time that they were together… Interesting.

“Alright, so I guess, see you guys around?” Tzuyu said, trying to get Jeongyeon off of her. She turned to Sana and Chaeyoung who were still holding hands, just now they were outside of Sana’s pocket. “It was really nice meeting you both. I hope we can be friends in the future.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you too Tzuyu, and of course we can be friends” Sana flashed a big friendly smile at the Taiwanese, before waving goodbye and blowing kisses to everybody with her free hand “Alright we’ll head out now because our building is kinda far, so goodnight everybody!” She said before turning and leaving, leading Chaeyoung by her left hand around the corner.

“Oh, by the way,” Dahyun said, seeming somewhat relieved. “Where are all of y’alls dorms? So I know what houses I can crash in in case Tzuyu and I have a falling out and fight to the death.” The question was directed at the three remaining pairs, all the second year students (except for Sana of course).

“Well, we all live right next to each other,” Momo answered, much to Dahyun’s surprise. “Rooms 405, 406, and 407 of the East building.”

“I live with Hyo over here in 405, Momo lives with Mina in 406 and-”

“And I live in 407 with Seulgi!” Jeongyeon interrupted Nayeon, who just rolled her eyes. “To be honest, I don't even know why I’m so proud of that.”

“Hey!” Seulgi hit Jeongyeon’s shoulder with her sleeve, the latter, cracking up at her own joke.

“They wouldn't allow couples to live together so we got the next best thing and just started living with our friends, being neighbors with our partners,” Mina explained as she locked arms with Seulgi, planting a peck on her cheek at the end of her sentence.

“Sometimes I get ‘lost’ and stumble into Nayeon’s room in the middle of the night, if you know what I mean,” Jeongyeon said with a suggestive tone, enough to make Dahyun and Tzuyu cringe.

“I dont need details about your sex life, hags,” Tzuyu responded, making a disgusted expression.

“I would insult your sex life, but its better than all of ours combined, so you win this round, kid,” Nayeon said (leaving Tzuyu visibly stisfied with herself), before going up to Jeongyeon, grabbing a fistfull of her hair and making out with her for a good 30 seconds, open mouth, tongue out and everything. “... Or not,” she finished with a smirk at Tzuyu, locking arms with a red, and clearly disoriented Jeongyeon.

Meanwhile, everybody was horrified. Mina’s mouth was left gaping, with Sulgi  _ and _ Momo covering her eyes with their hands. Jihyo fully gagged at the sight, and even Dahyun, who was super polite with people she wasn't close with, couldn't contain an “ugh” of disgust. It was fucking  _ nasty _ . These two had to get married now, or that kiss would be shame on their legacies.

“On that note,” Jihyo got behind Momo and jumped on her back, the Japanese looking a bit surprised at the gesture, but overall delighted, “It's time we leave. We have two tired hags here to tuck in before their legs give out. Bye Dahyun, bye Tzuyu! It was real nice seeing you today!” Jihyo blew a kiss from Momo’s back as the Japanese turned around and started heading towards the East building, alongside armlocked Seulgi and Mina, who were engulfed in each other, and Nayeon (who had mouthed “I top” to Tzuyu before they had turned around, warranting a gag from the Taiwanese) and her unresponsive Jeongyeon, who was still clearly shook and ashamed from the kiss. Usual behavior for their little group.

“Hey, babe?” Jihyo said to Momo after a few minutes of silent, peaceful walking, Jihyo still on Momo’s back, a soft ‘Hm?’ escaping from the Japanese as she continued on her way to the dorm. “I’m really proud of Chaeng. To think that she’d be able to hold her ground even in Dahyun’s presence… It just makes me really hopeful for her, you know.”

“Yeah. That made me happy.” Momo paused for a second, letting the cool night breeze caress her girlfriend’s hair. “To be honest, I was kind of surprised that you and Dahyun didn't end up on bad terms after they broke up. I was trying to watch over you when it happened, and it was easily the weakest I had seen you. Except in bed with me.”

“Yeah, nice try hun,” Jihyo managed to sound confident, despite blushing at the idea that Momo was ‘watching over her back in high school’, “You could literally ask any of the other four girls in our vicinity and they would confidently tell you that I top 100% of the time in this relationship.”

“Oh, well you're going to have to prove that to me tonight, Ms. Park.” Momo’s voice was now half joking, and Jihyo could hear the smirk that the words were coming out of.

“You know I’m always available for that,” Jihyo got down from her girlfriend’s back, her face now fully back to its sunlike golden shine. She rested her right hand on Momo’s waist while she completed the motion and wrapped her left arm around the younger’s shoulder

Momo loved admiring that golden color. It shone bright on Jihyo’s skin, even in the nasty looking orange street lights. There was something about her personality that may accentuate how she did see her girlfriend, and how she saw Jihyo’s skin, but what she was saying wasn't necessarily 100% false, either.

Jihyo had probably the brightest personality out of all the people Momo knew, except maybe for Sana, and even that was debatable. Happy Jihyo was for sure the brightest, always flashing her big, fully toothed smile, acting like a baby that needs pampering. She would waddle, stomp her feet, and she would definitely pout a lot. And Momo lived for it all. She would be the one to always squish babie Jihyo’s cheeks in senior year, the one to always give her a head pat, the one to give her piggy back rides whenever she desired, much like she had tonight. 

Of course, that side of her wasn’t enough for Momo’s attention to be completely caught, at least not in a romantic way. There was always hot Jihyo, or ‘snatched my wig Jihyo’ as she would sometimes call her. The Jihyo that Momo would see at the student council meetings, confronting the teachers who should call stupid bullshit. The one that would come out whenever Chaeyoung had a slight problem with anybody in school. The one who would always tuck her hair behind her ear before saying shit that would break people into pieces. She was ruthless, this Jihyo, and Momo couldn’t help but try looking into her. 

Eventually, after joining the student council, Momo had no real choice than to fall for the younger girl. She was sort of the complete package. Her heart was made of gold, she was probably the most self-assured and confident girl, and she had the duality of a fallen angel. What was not to love?

And even though they had only been dating for 3 months, their couple felt at least a few years old, to both of them. There was this sort of domesticity that came with being with Jihyo that Momo just hadn’t found. Even with  _ her _ …

Momo shook the thoughts out of her head. She couldn't be thinking about back then now. Not when she was so happy with the woman who she loved.

“Jihyo?” Momo stopped walking, causing her counterpart to do the same. She turned to her, resting a hand on each shoulder. She could feel that her eyes were full of something, worry, a need for reassurance, and the instant she looked into Jihyo’s big eyes, a smile plastered itself on her face. “I love you. So much.” 

She leaned in for the kiss, quickly after saying so, not waiting to hear the answer from her girlfriend. Because there was no answer. Jihyo would never say the words ‘I love you’ back to Momo, so she would never wait to hear if she did. How could anybody love her after all? What was she good at? What could she do? Dancing? What else was there? There was nothing else. She was just a useless-

Stop.

She had to stop thinking like this. The therapist had told her that she needed to work on appreciating herself more. To surround herself with people who could appreciate her. Which she had done. She really truly loved Jihyo, and Chaeyoung and and all of their friends. And she was told how appreciated she was by Jihyo all the time. But for some reason, she could never believe it. And she hated it.

But whenever she would break off from these kisses with Jihyo, she would feel somewhat safe. As if she had managed to find and eat up the words that Jihyo would never utter.

It hurt to do, but it was the only she could satiate herself. Make herself feel worth it.

  
  


…

  
  


Chaeyoung’s heart started beating real fast when Sana had led her around the corner, out of the sight of others, and had not let go of her hand. Like, it was over now. She could let go. But she didn't. And when she had realized, the heat had quickly made its way up, probably reddening her face a lot.

Chaeyoung didn't even try to deny these feelings (more like reactions) that she may have been starting to have for Sana; in fact, some part of her actually hoped to fall for the Japanese. It would be perfect. Sana already had some level of romantic feelings for her, and she was undoubtedly one of the sweetest, most caring girls that she knew. Not to mention her beauty.

But alas, nothing that Sana was currently doing to her was enough to even approach what thinking of Dahyun and their past together did to her.

“By the way,” As if reassuring her mind, Sana instantly followed. “I’m really proud of you Chaengie. You did it! You spent the whole day with redacted, and nothing happened.” She ended, a satisfied tone in her voice

“Is that how we’re calling her now? Redacted?” Chaeyoung’s chuckle masked the slight embarrassment she was still feeling from the hand-holding. “Do you want another codename? Ooh ooh we should call you Agent C and she can be Doofenshmirtz!” Sana responded, warranting a laugh from both the girls. 

“Seriously, though,” Chaeyoung said after a few seconds of solid laughter. “I think that most of it was because of you. I don't know what you do or how you do any of it, but when I hold your hand, it just feels safe, you know?” Opening up like this to Sana wasn’t difficult for Chaeyoung. They had always had a sort of relationship where communication flowed easily. It had never been hard to get herself across to Sana.

What did make things a tiny bit hard was what Sana responded with. 

Abruptly, Sana pulled Chaeyoung into a tight hug, one of the tightest she ever been a part of. It sort of filled her up with something. She couldn't tell what it was necessarily, but it made her feel, and it made her feel good things. It felt so warm, so loving. It was invasive, but it was the type of affectionate and loving invasion that was necessary sometimes; in this case, she was guessing, to pry out her emotions. And she loved the invasion, but probably because it came from Sana.

They stayed in that position for 20 minutes in Chaeyoung’s perspective (it was like 5 seconds it wasn't that deep in reality), as she let herself bask in the emotions that Sana was making her experience. It felt so good to feel. Especially when the emotions were a blend of butterflies, embarrassment, gratitude, and affection. They somehow made a good combo.

Chaeyoung’s thoughts were interrupted when Sana followed up with something that probably made things a lot worse.

“Chaengie, I love you  _ so  _ much.”

The hug had been a sort of playful, lighthearted thing, but this… This felt like a full on confession of love. Chaeyoung could feel the weight of her words, how long she had been holding this back. She could tell how much this meant to Sana when she tightened the hug, engulfing Chaeng fully into herself.

They stayed like that for another eternity, Chaeyoung’s brain looking like that one Spongebob meme where everything is on fire. She she was frantically trying to figure out what to respond with, how to say it, how much longer before she pulled away. Honestly, she didn't want to pull away soon either, but something was telling her it would be bad if she didn't. And she definitely understood where that thing was coming from, because the butterflies in her stomach had turned into phoenixes, filling her with heat at the thought of something happening between her and Sana.

She was about to answer, some words were about to leave her lips, responding to Sana’s confession. She wasn’t in control of what she was about to say, she was entirely clueless as to what she was going to say. She started taking her last breath, doing her best to mentally prepare herself for the result of what was to come.

“Just kidding! Haha!” Sana pulled back from a visibly confused, probably a bit too disappointed Chaeyoung. Her voice shook as she said those words, and she refused to make eye contact with the Korean. But Chaeyoung was too distracted by herself and how loud her heart was unintelligibly screaming at her.

“No! I wasn’t kidding, I do love you so much, but like… you get what I mean!” Sana caught herself, still not entirely facing the younger. Chaeyoung did her best to fight back everything that was internally happening with her; she could deal with that later. Right now she had to play things off. She forced out a somewhat genuine laugh at Sana’s antics, continuously reminding herself to not think about her feelings.

“Hey! Don't laugh at me! Hmph.” Sana pursed her lips in a pout, crossing her arms.

“It was never like that,” Chaeyoung said with a very shockingly confident demeanor, even for herself. “I just think it was cute.” She slid her arm in behind Sana’s, locking arms with her.

“Well that was out of character,” Sana said, finally looking into Chaeyoung’s eyes, the softest smile on her face. “I like it though.” She ended, satisfied.

“Yeah, honestly I don't know what took me. Don’t count on it happening again, though,” Chaeyoung impressed herself with her panic-hiding skills. Because she was in full gay panic mode. Like it was harsh. And she had brought it upon herself for whatever reason.

As they continued heading towards their dorm, Chaeyoung realized, though, that this was the least of her worries. Because the emotions that usually left after a few seconds had managed to stay alive in her. Maybe it was the phoenixes in her stomach that has managed to find something flammable to drop their ashes onto. But in any case, they were there. And Chaeng knew she would be up all night struggling to deal with them.

But maybe they were worth it.

  
  


…

  
  


Dahyun still looked uneasy to Tzuyu. They had been walking for a solid five minutes now, and Dahyun had barely said a word. And that wasn't necessarily  _ rare _ per se, and least not from what Tzuyu had seen of her, but the atmosphere around her seemed a bit strange. Like her brain cells were working hard, but not in a good way.

Eventually, after another few minutes of walking in a silence that was only sometimes interrupted by the harsh wind of the night, Tzuyu finally decide to figure out what was going on.

"Hey, Dahyun?" She slowed down her walking pace, "Is everything alright?" She spoke in the most approachable voice she could use.

"Huh? OH, no no, nothing's the matter," Dahyun responded, a fair amount of alarm in her voice, like she had been pulled out of thought.

"You sure? Because ever since Chaeyoung and Sana came earlier, you don't seem to have been so good."

"Oh no dont worry, it just was just getting pretty colder, and past a certain temperature, I start to get a bit out of it." She wasn't lying either. Tzuyu was kinda shivering already, and she rarely got cold.

"Okay… Just know I'm here if you need me." Tzuyu trailed, maybe a tiny bit disappointed that she couldn't do anything.

A few more minutes of complete silence, less the echo of the pairs of footsteps on the dimly lit sidewalk.

It wasn't awkward. Just slow. Tzuyu felt Dahyun’s aura; it was still her usual serene aura, and Tzuyu thought maybe her judgement was wrong, and that there was no issue.

But then, Dahyun started pacing slower. She started moving closer to Tzuyu. Her head started dropping. 

Her aura started breaking.

Tzuyu could see her fists balled up, most definitely in anger. Her footsteps were more aggressive now, and if Dahyun was stomping, then Tzuyu 100% had a problem on her hands.

When Tzuyu started hearing sniffles is when she called ‘enough’. Coiling her arm around Dahyun’s shoulder and leading her to a nearby bench to sit, she said, “Dahyun something is clearly the problem here. You don't have to tell me what it is, but at least let me be there for you.”

“... okay.” Dahyun said, in between sniffles. Tears were running down her face now, and Tzuyu could feel the sincerity of them. They were honest tears, tears that had probably caught Dahyun by surprise too.

Tzuyu embraced the older girl into a hug, letting her cry her heart out, on this random bench in the middle of MYASS’s campus, sometime on their orientation night.

It must’ve been something that ate at her if it managed to get Dahyun to cry so hard. Dahyun who always tended to be happy and at peace with herself. It must’ve been something that tore at her heart, with the aggressivity of a devil, considering how much and how hard and how emotionally she was crying.

Seeing Dahyun cry so hard hurt Tzuyu a lot more than she could’ve expected. She could relate to Dahyun, without even knowing the full situation. It felt like she was on the receiving end of what she would do to Mina whenever she needed a shoulder to cry about Nayeon on. Or maybe she had just developed a soft spot for Dahyun already.

Soon, Tzuyu started feeling heat in her eyes, too. She didn’t even know why. But it felt right. As she stayed embracing Dahyun from the side, she leaned in, just so Dahyun couldn't figure out that she was soon crying too. She couldn't act as moral support if she wasn't feeling stable either.

And they stayed that way. Embracing each other. Crying.

Eventually, they both calmed down. But they stayed in that position. Soaking each other in, basking it each other’s peace, absorbing each other’s aura. It was serene. Like the sea. During that prolonged moment, all that existed in the world was them. They were each responsible for casting away the other’s worries, and they were both doing a damn good job at it.

“Tzuyu?” Dahyun started as they finally got up, “Can I hold your hand?”

“What?” Tzuyu was honestly taken aback by Dahyun’s request, but she was not against it by any means.

“Can I hold your hand on the way home? Please? I really need it right now and-”

The instant Tzuyu grabbed her hand, Dahyun felt the most comfortable heat of warmth spread through her whole body, as her heart started beating faster. Her heart was honestly a clown; they had just been in FULL EMBRACE for the past forever, and it only started beating when Tzuyu took her hand. And took the lead. That last part was hot too.

The cold suddenly didn’t affect her as she fully accepted the warmth of Tzuyu’s touch. It felt right. 

Not to mention her heart kept on getting faster. But it was just her gay panic gene acting up.

The rest of the way home was slow and silent, but very much unlike the first half of the walk, both girls were at peace.

Hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter @dubusfluff (https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also find me on curious cat at https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff


	6. I'm Sorry, What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of a blend of everything, mostly awkwardness, so I hope y'all enjoy that. Otherwise, it was fun to write, especially the last part. Hope you enjoy it!

Today, it was Dahyun that was running late, still getting ready in her room. 

But instead of knocking and waiting at Dahyun’s door like she had the other day, Tzuyu just sat silent on the couch. The first day of actual school and Tzuyu was gonna let herself be late because she had gone and made things this way. Honestly, Tzuyu would probably have gone to the opening assembly on her own if she hadn't promised that Dahyun and her would meet up with Nayeon and Jihyo before the thing started.

Also, what kinda bad luck was this? The world expected her to be her normal jolly self at her first modeling class in college after she had just spent, without a doubt, the strangest weekend of her entire life. Obviously, she had been mentally and physically preparing herself for much longer than she could even remember, demanding that her mom put her in all the little girls’ beauty pageants that she could. And she had won her fair share of those. And of all the ones she had participated in in middle school. And of all the ones she had participated in in high school. And she stood out in her fair share of modeling classes-

You get it. She was ready. But also, the odd feeling that this weekend had brought upon her was making her feel more or less un-ready. But hey, she would trust herself and trust her body with what it did. And, to be honest, looking at her classes, she really wouldn't be doing a lot of modeling; mostly health, fitness, and then other fields like design and advertising. Probably all things to get her to know what the industry is like, and to keep her in shape for when the actual modeling would be happening.

Either way, she had to get back in the working mindset, without thinking about whatever had happened on Friday.

As Tzuyu gathered her last minute thoughts and emotions, Dahyun finally came out of her room, a pale trench coat over a blue hundreds, and a sort of oversized scarf, topped off with simple white sneakers. An odd combination for sure, but she somehow made it work.

And of course she didn't forget the same awkward smile that she had been wearing as a face mask ever since Friday. On a surface level, it was a very cute and endearing smile. It reminded Tzuyu of her dog back home, Gucci, and how he would sometimes look like he was trying to smile, but didn't know what a smile was in actuality. Cute.

It would be at least, if it didn't carry with it the memories and emotions of what had happened after they had gotten home the other day.

"Ready to go?" Tzuyu said, trying to bring up the mood with a wide smile.

"Yeah," Dahyun started heading out, and Tzuyu followed.

  
  


…

  
  


Finally they were at the main auditorium. The walk there had been so painful and cringeworthy for Dahyun, considering how easily conversation usually flowed between herself and Tzuyu. 

This time, though, nothing.

Both of the girls had tried to create some sort of dialogue at one point or another, initiating small talk about how the other had slept or how cold the weather was starting to get. But alas, it was all to no avail.

To be honest, Dahyun really didn't like this and what it had become. Even though she had only met her like 2 weeks ago now, she had taken a real liking to the younger girl. She sort of made her feel safe in a way, but not like a mother. It was more like Tzuyu was her bodyguard, and Dahyun could easily see their relationship advancing towards the "best friend" title. 

That would be good, considering Chaeyoung seemed to have successfully stolen hers; Sana. Whom she also happened to have a crush on at the moment. 

She didn't even have a problem with the idea of them two being happy together, without her. Of course, it would hurt a whole lot to have both of the girls she had the most feelings for be happy together, and without her, but she would be willing to make that sacrifice for their happiness. It was what they deserved. But that was all besides the point.

The thought of losing what she could potentially have with Tzuyu didn't please her at all, but she didn't know what she could to sort things out with her. Obviously, the obviously obvious answers would be to obviously talk to her and obviously things would obviously be sorted out.

But she also obviously knew that that wouldn't work. It was too damn awkward between them, and Dahyun was the least confrontational person that she knew. Unless you pissed her off, of course, but again, besides the point.

They had made it out of the hellhole of cringe that was the walk to the auditorium, and Nayeon and Jihyo were approaching. Finally, something to alleviate the atmosphere.

“Ugh, what's wrong with y’all?” Jihyo said, feigning a slightly disgusted face. Was it that apparent? Were they that messed up that one glance could tell that something was the issue?

“Don’t listen to her,” Nayeon said, as Dahyun’s face muscles relaxed a bit. “You look beautiful, Dahyun,” She slowed and emphasized the ‘Dahyun” bit, eyeing Tzuyu.

Pretending to be hurt, Tzuyu clutched at her chest and opened her mouth wide in disbelief. “Woooooooow is that really what you think of me Nayeon?” she said before pouting and turning her back to the eldest, like a 3rd grade kid.

“Aww don’t be like  _ that _ Tzu~~”, Nayeon whined, switching her attention to Tzuyu and moving closer, “You know I was only joking, babie.” Nayeon joined her in pouting. Soon, she was peppering the younger in kisses, all around her face, much to Tzuyu’s distaste; is what Dahyun would say is she couldn’t see Tzuyu clearly enjoying those, her face heating up and reddening as she tried to cover it up. A person who truly didn’t like those would be trying to get away, but the only thing that stopped the assault from continuing was Jihyo, who, after a long fit of laughter at their antics, finally pulled Nayeon off and signaled for the others to go find a seat in the massive auditorium.

As they followed into the crowd of people, all scrambling to find their seats, Jihyo started talking to Dahyun, explaining to her the different Schools and Departments of MYASS; not information that she was foreign to, but it was always good to get a quick refresher. Most of her friends, including the new ones she had made on Friday, weren’t the only ones of the friend group in their respective majors; Tzuyu had Sana (the lucky bitch), that would probably guide her around modeling, Momo and Mina were in dancing, Jeongyeon and Seulgi were together in film, and Jihyo and Nayeon had acting together. 

The only other one of their group who was alone in her major was Chaeyoung, doing concept art on her own.

Chaeyoung. Dahyun wondered how she was doing, if Sana was taking good care of her, if she was happy, if she was here, today at the auditorium. Most likely, probably sitting somewhere with Sana, laughing, having fun. Being happy.

“Also… Dahyun? Are you listening?” Jihyo snapped Dahyun out of her thoughts, “I was saying I have this one friend in the School of Music, and I could ask her to help ease you into things, and show you around for a bit after the assembly.”

“Are you sure?” Dahyun overheard Tzuyu and Nayeon talking about modeling and how good Tzuyu would be good at it, considering her physique. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“A bother to Wheein?” Jihyo mocked the idea, “Wheein always has time, you won't be bothering her, trust me. Plus, she owes me a favor.”

“If you say so, then, who am I to refuse?” Dahyun replied, quite relieved actually. She wouldn't have to jump into school on her own; she could have a guide, and potentially a friend that was not involved with all her other friends. That could be good.

The back door to the auditorium finally opens, just as their conversation ends, and in walks a very handsome ugly man in a maroon turtleneck, a black blazer, cropped gray jeans, and white sneakers.

“Hello, new students and potentially returning students,” He instantly started and the room grew quiet, “My name is Park Jin Young, but you can call me JYP. I am the president of MYASS.”

  
  


…

  
  


"Uuuuuuuggggh," Nayeon groaned, "That was so sickening. I hate his voice, he talks too much,  _ and _ I’ve had the exact same speech last year when we were freshmen.”

JYP was done with his insanely boring speech about the virtues of MYASS, and honestly, Tzuyu couldn’t care less about any of the shit he was spewing. As they were heading out towards the main hall where the new students would gather with people of their department, she had other things to worry about. She was way more preoccupied with how uncomfortable and annoying this whole situation was. Nayeon was basically glued onto her side, the older’s arms around her shoulders, basically leaning with her full weight.

As if her heart beating very fast from the contact wasn’t enough already, Nayeon’s weight was constantly pushing Tzuyu to her right, which was where Dahyun was. Nayeon was making her lose her balance, which meant that every so often, she would bump into Dahyun’s shoulder, and then instantly feel her gaze on her. And even though it tended to be gone as fast as it had come, the feeling of it always made Tzuyu sweat a little from nerves. She didn’ even know what she was nervous about. 

Maybe just facing her?

“Apparently he used to be able to sing really well,” Jihyo said, much more full of life than Nayeon, “Like he used to have albums out and stuff. But then the school hired him as a vocal coach, and apparently he worked his way up somehow.”

“My mom had one of his really old albums,” Dahyun said, surprisingly calm for how much Tzuyu was bumping into her, “And it really wasn’t horrible if I'm honest.” 

“That's cool and all, but I really could not give less of a fuck about that toad,” Nayeon said, warranting laughter from Jihyo and a chuckle from Dahyun, “Tzuuu~~ carry me, I’m tired of walking now.” Nayeon whined into Tzuyu’s ear.

In any other situation, Tzuyu would have responded with a cold ass ‘no, hag’ and then proceed to crying internally because she was too much of a coward to indulge into voluntarily feeling Nayeon’s body on hers.

But in this case, all that she wanted was to stop bumping into Dahyun. Every time their clothes so much as grazed each other, Tzuyu could feel a wave of shame assaulting her from wherever they had made contact. And then Dahyun’s look that she never dared to face, out of fear of course, would always burn at her skin like a magnifying glass under the sun. It was too much right now. She had to try to focus.

She soon realized, though, that it would still be difficult to do so. As Nayeon climbed on her back, she had the opportunity to take a small step away from Dahyun, which gave her a good minute to breathe peacefully. A minute, only because as soon as that minute was over, she realized what was happening on her back. Nayeon was happening. And it made her heart pound.

Surprisingly, though, it wasn't as annoying or intrusive as it usually got when Nayeon would kiss her cheek or nuzzle in her neck. Hm. Interesting. But that didn’t stop her heart from accelerating nonetheless. And it was very irritating. But hey, at least, she couldn't guilt over Dahyun more than she innately did already.

  
  


…

  
  


Sana was really pretty today. Something about her aura made her extremely pleasant to look at. Her overbite looked extra cute today and her skin was extra glistening. She also seemed to love Chaeyoung more than she usually did. Even at the opening speech, she kept hugging Chaeyoung, keeping herself tight and close to her, occasionally kissing her jaw. Honestly, Chaeyoung enjoyed it, despite how red the kisses made her face glow. It felt good to be loved.

“Why are you so clingy today?” Chaeyoung asked at one point during JYP’s long, boring monologue, the one which Sana had made at least a hundred times more bearable, “Not that i don't like it…” Chaeyoung finished, a lot quieter and more embarrassed.

“Becaaaaaause~” Sana warbled, in a bit of a complaint-y tone, “Today’s the last day I get you all to myself, at least until fall break. We’ll both be in classes, and we’ll only be able to see each other during the evenings after those classes.”

Sana’s answer made Chaeyoung blush, but she really wasn’t surprised by the straightforward response. The Japanese had long been infatuated with her, anyways, and she was probably the most straightforward person that Chaeyoung knew, other than Jihyo of course. And maybe it was time to start returning that infatuation. Even just a bit. Just as a thank you to Sana for helping her get over Dahyun.

Because that was what was happening. She was slowly starting to forget how Dahyun made her feel, those memories being replaced with new ones that she shared with Sana. Like last week, when they spent the whole day playing Minecraft and they had a house building competition, and Chaeyoung lost because Sana had a dog. Or on Saturday when they designed they designed a character together (Sana came up with the ideas and Chaeyoung drew them into existence), and she ended up looking like a blend of Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time and Cruella from the 101 Dalmatians. Or even this morning, when Sana came out of the shower wearing Chaeyoung’s crop top, which didn’t look like much more than a bra to her.

Slowly, Chaeyoung’s world was becoming colorful again.

Which is why it wouldn’t cause anybody any harm to reciprocate some of Sana’s feelings. No doubt.

“That’s not true,” the younger girl responded, humming her words in response, “You get me on the weekends.” Chaeyoung said, booping Sana’s nose with the last word. She usually wouldn't act this confident, especially when it came to gayness (nobody knows how she became Dhayun’s girlfriend, since they were both the least assertive girls in school), but hanging around with Sana, coupled with beginning to feel in control of herself after so long gave her a bit of the ol’ confidence boost.

Sana, obviously a little startled at this new attribute of Chaeyoung’s, quickly recovered. Despite how happy she had been when Chaeng had in some form, be it a miniscule one, reciprocated at least her intentions, Sana still had to teach her a little lesson. The stare that she plunged into the younger’s eyes was the stare of a feline, eyeing its prey, licking its lips, readying its hind legs to pounce. “Oh?” was all that she said, but that one syllable contained the intensity and density of a hurricane if it was kept in a water bottle. Completely concealed, but threatening to utterly destroy the calm surrounding it if it was even slightly agitated. No matter how much she loved Chaeyoung, Sana couldn’t let a rookie try to dominate her.

Chaeyoung could sense the passion burning in the older eyes, the dominance that surrounded Sana. Her natural instincts felt the threat she posed, and forced her to look away, after a few seconds and a gulp that resonated in her head. Okay, playing confident with Sana was not a good idea.

“Of course I’m gonna have you during the weekends,” Sana kissed Chaeyoung’s jaw, as if nothing had just happened, “But it’s just not gonna be the same,” She whined.

“Yeah, well, we’re gonna have to deal with it,” Chaeyoung returned to her normal state of slight tsundere-ism, “Besides, it's not like I’m not gonna want to see you sometimes.”

“Only  _ some _ times?” Sana‘s mouth gaped out of fake offense, “You know I’m gonna be thinking of you at ALL times, right?” It may not have seemed like it, but that statement had a lot of truth to it. Sana found herself thinking of Chaeyoung more than she should, and though it wasn’t unhealthy, she always enjoyed having Chaeyoung there with her instead of always having to think of her. It would be a little disappointing to not be with her.

“Alright, okay,” Chaeyoung finally conceded, “I will be thinking about you 100% of the time that I am in class,” she emphasized the ‘100%’, feigning frustration.

“Good,” Sana flashed her a bright smile.

A smile that made Chaeyoung feel.

  
  


…

  
  


Jihyo could tell when something was wrong with Dahyun. This was one of those times.

Ever since they had seen each other in the morning, she seemed off. She was giddy, didn’t talk as much as she normally would, and she seemed a bit uncomfortable at times. It was odd, because at an occasion like this, the first day of college, Dahyun would usually be an incoherent hot mess of nervousness and eagerness. But today, she was just calm. And it was visible to Jihyo that she was off.

Jihyo actually had an idea in mind of what the issue might be. It was Chaeyoung. Ever since Friday, when she had arrived holding Sana’s hand, Dahyun seemed a bit rattled. Jihyo figured that it was because of Chaeyoung, for one reason or another. Maybe she was hurt that Chaeyoung was moving on, in which case she would have no right to do so and would entirely be in the wrong. But maybe it was also something else, something that was worth trying to fix. And even though Jihyo was supposed to be Chaeyoung’s mom, Dahyun was still a really great friend of hers and it was offputting to see her struggle like that. 

So she did the normal thing that anybody worried about their friend would, she texted her around noon. and asked to meet her at the Starbucks near the Department of Music’s building, without Wheein, because she wanted to talk to her.

Dahyun, who apparently had a 2 hour lunch break in between morning and afternoon classes on Mondays, was free, and Jihyo thought she would take the opportunity to ask about her classes and things were going on her first day at school.

And so now, Jihyo waited at the window table of the coffee shop. She had texted Dahyun about 10 minutes ago, and normally, it wouldn’t take so long to get from the DOM’s building, but considering it was her first day, and how clumsy she tended to be, it wouldn't shock Jihyo if she managed to get lost. 

Honestly, Jihyo was sure that she was blowing this out of proportion. Dahyun had been broken up with Chaeyoung for over a year now, and they had spent that year in the same school seeing each other everyday. There was no way that Chaeng still affected Dahyun in that way. And even if she did, it would surely have died down over the past year. But then again, Chaeng would still have these emotional episodes over Dahyun, so for all Jihyo knew, something similar could have been happening to Dahyun.  _ But then again _ , Dahyun was the one that had broken up with Chaeyoung, so surely she was less affected, right?

As Jihyo’s thoughts continued to run wild, a certain blonde shorty (not really to Jihyo, they were basically the same height) made her way into the shop. Jihyo was so deep in her imagination and thoughts that she didn’t even notice when Dahyun sat down next to her. It took a whole “hi” from the younger to pull Jihyo out of thought.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I was thinking of something,” Jihyo took conscience of her surroundings, “So, how’s your first day going? Made any friends yet?” she said, teasing with that last part.

“Yeah, actually,” Dahyun answered with a satisfied smile, much to Jihyo’s surprise, “There’s this Suyeon girl who’s really friendly and good at piano, and since I’m no rookie either, we kinda hit it off. Wheein was also a great help in showing me around the building this morning, so thank you for that.”

“Oh, of course,” Jihyo flashed a smile, ignoring how old and outdated ‘hit it off’ was as an expression, before shifting to a more fitting face for the somewhat serious question she was going to ask, “Ok so Dahyun, the actual reason I wanted to talk to you now is because you seemed a little weird after this morning. And you were also acting strange on Friday when Chaeyoung and Sana arrived,” Jihyo saw Dahyun wince a little at the mention of their names, “Are you okay do you need, like, anybody to talk to? Or anything really. I’m here,” Jihyo felt satisfied with her speech, seeming to have gotten her concern across.

After a pause, Dahyun sighed. “Okay. So, there's a lot, but I actually do need somebody to talk to right now. Usually, I would go to Sana to tell her this type of stuff, but she’s kinda one of the reasons for all of this. Where should I begin…” Dahyun paused, mustering her thoughts, and after a while looked up at Jihyo, who was attentively listening, “I guess I’ll just start from the beginning.

“So, for, like, a year and half… I- I’ve had the fattest crush on Sana.”

Huh?

That was that Jihyo could think as a billion questions came to knock at the door of her mind. She sat there, mouth gaping at Dahyun, allowing no words to come out of there.

After a little evaluation of Jihyo, and a chuckle, Dahyun resumed, “Yeah, I know. Either way, that’s why I broke up with Chaeyoung. Things were getting unhealthy for me and unfair for her, and the relationship was becoming toxic, breaking us both down, little by little. I felt stuck with Chaeyoung, and I still loved her so much, but I could never think of anything but Sana,” she sighed again; pain was breaking her voice, and she took a sip of Jihyo’s Iced Latte to help support it.

“We broke up, and I kept on being whipped for Sana while still being in love with Chaeyoung. I tried to avoid both of them as much as possible, but sometimes I just had to see Sana, especially after she had come home from here after a while. So I finished high school like that. During summer, my feelings for both girls died down a bit, probably because I wasn't in the environment where I was used to seeing them anymore. So by this point, things are Jolly for me. I don't constantly have Sana on my mind, even though she is still there a lot, and I still have strong feelings for Chaeyoung, but nothing unbearable.

“But then on Friday, I saw Chaeyoung, and she did not look good at ALL. She seemed half like the Chaeyoung that I was dating. And knowing how much she had loved me then, most of me is devastated at the idea that I might have been the one to do this to her. She looked so neglected and sick of everything, and I hated seeing her like that. It hurt.”

By this point, Jihyo had mostly recovered from the Sana thing, and was now considering telling Dahyun about the breakdowns that Chaeyoung consistently had when thinking about her. But she decided against it; Chaeyoung hadn’t given her permission to share, especially not to Dahyun.

“And what bothered me the most that day,” Dahyun continued, disgust now in her voice, “was that some small fucked up part of me that I fucking hate and feel like a monster for… I felt hurt that she wasn’t as hurt as she was ‘supposed to’ be,” Dahyun’s voice broke as she held back a flood of tears.

Damn. Even though Jihyo should be feeling outrage, and maybe even scold Dahyun for what she had just said, she couldn't help but feel compassion for her and how sincerely sorry she seemed to be. But she didn't interrupt.

“It hurt me to see her look at least okay. And it hurt even more to see her with Sana. When I saw that they were holding hands, my heart literally dropped. It felt like I had been stabbed in the back by myself. I had left Chaeyoung because of Sana, but she had gone on to get Sana before me. Ironic. Truly.”

A long, silent moment followed, a moment in which Jihyo basked in the information, trying to dissect it, figure out how it made her feel. Meanwhile, Dahyun just seemed relieved.

“So yeah. That’s why I was feeling bad on Friday,” Dahyun finally said, relieved, “Thank you so much Jihyo. That feels so good to have off my chest.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah no problem,” Jihyo said, out of thought, once again.

They sat in another minute of silence, Jihyo still thinking about everything. Until she realized.

“OH,” she practically swallowed the air, “You still havent told me what had you down this morning. So yeah. I’m all ears.”

Dahyun instantly started blushing at the mention of what happened. After a bit of time to get her blush under control and another deep sigh, she began.

“Okay so this is gonna be another monologue, but bear with me here. After summer, when my feelings for Sana and Chaeyoung are both a little diluted, I come here. And I meet Tzuyu. Probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And she’s a really sweet dork who has the best sense of humor, and is a babie to be taken care of. Cool. I start taking a liking to her, and I end up loving her  _ platonically _ in the span of a few days, and it seems like she’s feeling the same about me. By our first week together, we’re already cuddling, binge watching shit on Netflix in our pyjamas. Don't you dare tease me about us moving fast as well, because this relationship is strictly platonic.

“She brings over a lot of girls to have sex, as I explained to you all at the orientation meetup. I don’t really have a problem with it either, except maybe that they end up being noisy,” Jihyo made a suggestive face which is immediately shut down by Dahyun’s hand in her face, the latter who continues as if nothing happened, “But on Saturday, like two days ago Saturday, she brought over another girl.”

“Okay, but that shouldn't be an issue, right,” Jihyo asked, perplexed.

“It wouldn’t be. Except there was one small little itty bitty detail that took place on Friday night after the orientation. That specific detail would explain why we were both really awkward throughout yesterday, but also this morning.”

“And that detail would be?” Jihyo asked, frustrated with anticipation.

“Me and Tzuyu.

“We kinda kissed on Friday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Jihyo at the end of that chapter be like](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/027/475/Screen_Shot_2018-10-25_at_11.02.15_AM.png)
> 
> Otherwise, hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter [@dubusfluff](https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also find me on curious cat at [dubusfluff](https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff)


	7. Dry Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to finish, I've just been needing time for myself lately, so updates are probably going to be less frequent. But worry not! I'll still make sure to update once per two weeks at least. So yeah, we should be good on that level.
> 
> Otherwise, this chapter is pretty uneventful, just a lot of emotions and explanations. Also, no Sachaeng this time, sorry (ikr even I'm sad), but it is a pretty important chapter nonetheless. So yeah, hope you enjoy!

The day was going well for Tzuyu. At least from an outsider’s point of view.

She had met up with Sana on accident after the assembly, and Sana had given her a quick tour of the Department of Modeling building after Tzuyu’s first class. Health class, it had been. It was mostly just syllabus stuff, pretty boring. One thing that did catch Tzuyu’s attention, though, was how good-looking the people in class were.

She had, for a split second, thought of which of the girls could have been a good catch if she ever needed to love ‘Nayeon’ for a night, but she had soon eradicated that thought. All this mess of a habit that she had gotten herself used to was what had seemed to hurt Dahyun the other day. And she didn't like that at all.

Dahyun didn't deserve to get hurt. She never had, and probably never would. So, rightfully so, the memory of when she had walked out of her room behind Elkie, just to find a clearly shocked Dahyun; it just haunted her. 

And it despite how warranted these feelings were, Tzuyu somehow felt like this all bothered her more than it would normally have. It seemed mean and insensitive, but come on. She had not thought of anything else since she had initially seen the look on Dahyun’s face. Like, the only thing that had ever crowded her mind was Nayeon. And that said a lot, trust her.

The worst was that it had all been her fault too. And to be honest, she still didn’t know what sort of idiot had possessed her when she had first kissed Dahyun on Friday.

They had just gotten back from their, sappy, emotional (and pretty corny and cliche if you asked Tzuyu (she still loved every second of it)) walk back from the orientation meetup, and there was just something different in the air. They had entered the dorm, but it was clear that neither of the two had wanted to let go just yet. 

So neither had.

They made their way to the couch, still hand in hand (they found a way to strip themselves of their outer layer, don't ask me how), and just sat there, eventually glancing at each other, still wordless. Quick glances eventually evolved into wandering eyes, and as Dahyun made a small effort to close the gap between the two, Tzuyu doubled said effort, resulting in them being as close as humanly possible, but without touching each other anywhere other than their hands. As if their contact with the other represented a line that shouldn't be crossed. 

But as the stares from both sides of the border increased in intensity, lingered everywhere on the opposing face, but locked on the lips, Tzuyu had no choice but to shoot. Destroy the border. Speed through the line.

When their lips made contact, Tzuyu felt no resistance. Instead, after a few seconds of hesitation, it was Dahyun who leaned in, deepened the kiss.

It all felt so right, melting into each other, and as the kiss got more and more intimate, everything left Tzuyu’s mind. The only things that were present in the world were her and Dahyun and the passion that this kiss held.

At some point, Tzuyu felt her tongue emerge from behind her teeth and start to make its way to Dahyun’s closed lips. The instant it reached its destination, it tapped and waited, like a guest, knocking at the door. 

Dahyun opened the door, and from then on everything went to shit. Both tongues blended into one another as Tzuyu finally let go of Dahyun’s hand, but only to grip at her waist, somehow pull her closer, deeper, feel her heat, the acceleration of her heart. Soon, Tzuyu was on all fours and breathing heavy on top of a submissive Dahyun, and for the first time since this had all started, she had the time to assess everything.

The speed of her heart reminded her of when Nayeon would be flirty around her. The way her body was reacting physically was identical to how she would react to Nayeon; a lot of heat, especially around her face area, and slightly sweaty palms.

But what she felt inside was so different from what she would feel from Nayeon. While Nayeon’s emotion felt hot, passionate, exciting, Dahyun’s felt rather calming, and soothing. All of the passion that had brought to the table on that day had been brought by Tzuyu, and Dahyun had just followed along. She felt a sort of balance when she was her, a balance that felt so right. A balance that wasn’t there with Nayeon.

Apparently, though, Tzuyu had given too much time for Dahyun to think. Right when Tzuyu was about to dip into her lips, continue where they had left off, Tzuyu felt a hand move to cover her mouth.

“Tzuyu, I-” she looked into Tzuyu’s eyes with the most apologetic of tears forming in hers, “I- I can’t. I just can’t.”

She got up and without once looking back to see the utter perplexion plastered on Tzuyu’s expression, she headed to her room.

Tzuyu went to bed that night, but couldn’t sleep one bit. She spent the whole night thinking. Trying to bring back that pure feeling of whatever it was that Dahyun gave to her. Without avail.

And so the next day, probably in part to get back at the older for leaving her hanging like that, she went back to ‘Nayeon’, another Taiwanese girl named Elkie. Brought her over, slept with her, spent the night with her. A night that would usually have been nice; sex, a cute girl, sleeping in, cuddling.

But it was all dull. Dahyun was the only thing on her mind. And she had fucked it up with Elkie.

But what had she fucked up? That was the question. The thing with Dahyun had surely been a one off thing, nothing else. So what was she so afraid of losing now, in her first photography class of the year? What made her so anxious about how Dahyun felt about all of this? Obviously she had to worry about at least some of it, but not as much as she was right now. 

She couldn’t even hear what the professor was saying; Dahyun was too loud in her mind.

  
  


…

  
  
  


Jihyo had been frozen in place for a good 10 seconds and Dahyun didn’t know whether to be amused or concerned.

“Umm, Jihyo?” Dahyun finally tapped the older’s hand before. Her reaction was funny too. She stayed frozen, mouth gaping, but she turned only her head to look at Dahyun with this same expression on her face. “Are you… good?” she waved in front of Jihyo’s face, to no avail. Oh! Jihyo had always had a certain weakness for her pout, maybe it was time to use it. 

“Hmph!” Dahyun stuck out her bottom lip, crossed her arms, and made sure to puff her cheeks a little as she looked downwards in small frown. Finally, Jihyo seemed to snap out of it, just to pinch Dahyun’s cheeks, almost knocking over her coffee.

“Okay, okay,” Dahyun giggled as she pulled Jihyo’s hands away, “You good now?” she asked as they settled down.

“Yeah. I think so,” Jihyo still seemed a little dazed, but it was fine, “So… you and Tzuyu, huh? Honestly you two woul-”

“No!” Dahyun interrupted as soon as she realized what Jihyo was saying, receiving a confused look from the elder, “Don't even. Just don’t bring it there. Tzuyu doesn’t like me like that. It was all just an in-the-moment thing. Plus, I still have feelings for Sana. And Chaeyoung,” she finished.

“Sheesh, okay then,” Jihyo responded a bit overwhelmed, before switching to an eager expression, “But what happened exactly? I want all the juicy details. Unless, of course you don’t feel comfortable sharing, in which case I respect that.”

“No it’s fine, I can tell you,” Dahyun said, unbothered, a little amused at Jihyo’s eagerness. It was ーsomehow cute.

“Ok good!” Jihyo almost shouted with the anticipation of a hungry dog in front of a bone. It was kinda cute how the big bad serious badass Park Jihyo turned into baby Hyo whenever she was excited about something. Gossip in this case.

“Just don’t get your hopes up, it's not anything extravagant or anything.” Dahyun started, “So after the orientation meetup, I was feeling down, as I told you, but I was trying not to think about anything that had happened or that would make me remember those feelings. At least not until we got home, and I could camp out in my room. So I’m trying to hide how I’m feeling from her because I don’t want her to worry.”

Jihyo suggestively raised her eyebrows whenever Dahyun said that, resulting in a head shake from the latter. 

“Tzuyu, somehow sees through my 10/10 acting, and naturally, because she’s a good hearted individual, asks me what’s wrong. Obviously, I try to play it off as being tired or whatever. Can’t remember exactly what I said, but something along those lines. So, again, since she is good-hearted, she doesn’t pry. But just her mentioning it—not her fault by any means—it brought back all of the bad things I was feeling.

“So naturally, I start to cry. And I’m trying to hide it, but she obviously notices after a while. So she takes me to a bench and sits me down. And I’m still crying my eyes out, like it's getting worse, and I'm almost snotting and all of that. So she sits next to me and just holds me. She lets me cry all over her, hold her close to me, tighten my arms around her and everything. At some point she said something about not having to tell her anything, but that she was there, and then she just sort of leaned on me. I'm pretty sure she started crying at some point too.

“And Jihyo when I tell you that this feeling was the single purest thing I’ve felt since… I don't even know when. Maybe ever. In that moment I just let myself go and it was so… I don't know how to describe it. I felt safe? At home maybe? Either way, I loved it a lot.

“So anyways, I somehow get myself back to reality after I’m done crying and I get up, tell her we have to leave. But I still haven’t fully recovered at this point, so my stupid self, probably high from that hug or whatever asks her if she can HOLD MY HAND on the way home. Imagine. I probably looked so stupid, I’m sure I was blushing and had this stupid hopeful look on my face,” Dahyun cringes at the idea, warranting a laugh in Jihyo.

“So anyways, she accepts. And so we walked home holding hands, and it felt just as great as when I was holding onto her. When we got home though, we didn't stop. We didn’t leave for our rooms or go get changed or anything. We just sat on the couch, holding hands, occasionally looking at each other. But then, at some point, something took control of me and decided to make me scoot closer to her. But then she fully closed the gap when I did that.

“And thin it just sort of happened. She went in for the kiss and I don't remember anything until the end of it.” 

That last part was a lie. Dahyun remembered every detail of the kiss, how could she not. She remembered how Tzuyu’s lips felt, how they tasted, how embarrassed she was in the moment, how that didn't stop her from accepting Tzuyu’s tongue. Or letting Tzuyu take control of the situation. Or ending up on her back looking up at the younger’s perfect face, probably as red as hers was then. 

She just didn’t want to remember. She didn’t want to because it made her feel things that she didn't want to admit she felt. Because Tzuyu’s cursed face meant that she Dahyun would never stand a chance against trying to resist its beauty. And she could feel it coming. But she wasnt ready to admit it. And she never would be, because it couldn’t happen. Nothing good could come out of anything that was developing right now.

“What that's it?” Jihyo said after a minute of realization, disappointment clouding her voice, “You made me sit through all of that for this? At least tell me how the kiss ended.”

“I warned you it was not going to be anything spectacular. But yeah anyways, at the end, it's a bit embarrassing, but... she was on all fours on top of me.”

“oOoOoOoO,” Jihyo exclaimed (idk how she said either), “SEE THAT'S THE STUFF I WAS LOOKING FOR! Good job Dahyun, finally got your first sexy time with somebody.” Jihyo held up her hand for Dahyun to high give it, but instead the younger lodged her hands on her face.

“It wasn't like that… We just kissed… I hate you for putting that image in my brain.”

“Hey are you really gonna leave me hanging?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Jihyo high fived herself, “But yeah continue, what happened next?”

“Oh. Well, I got up and told her that I couldn't do it, and went to my room. I basically left her hanging.”

Jihyo pursed her lips in doubt at Dahyun’s decision. Dahyun could feel a mom speech incoming, probably after she was done with the story.

“I didn’t sleep that night, to nobody’s surprise, and when I woke up the next day, she wasn’t home. She stayed out the whole day, and I just stayed in and watched some movies with some ice cream, and lowkey kinda in my feelings.

“But what, I guess, struck me the most was when I woke up yesterday. I got up and headed to the kitchen to cook some eggs, as you do, and I wasn’t thinking about Tzuyu at this point in time. But then I heard her door open, and my heart kinda sped up, probably anxiety, I didn’t really want to see her and greet her super casually as if nothing had happened, and I also didn't want to be cold to her, cuz I hadn’t meant to offend her on Friday.

“So as I was thinking all of these thoughts, I turned around to greet her when she came out, but instead of Tzuyu I saw this other girl, really pretty. Obviously, I put two and two together, and figured out that they had spent the night together. It was kinda awkward when Tzuyu came out behind her, she just kinda looked at me awkwardly and introduced the girl, who was just as confused as I was. Elkie, I think? She seemed sweet, but that's not the point. I stayed in my room all day after that, and I’m pretty sure she did too. And this morning, we just acted like nothing had happened, and you saw where that led us.” Dahyun finally ended.

“Wow,” Jihyo sighed, looking a bit overwhelmed. "Hold on a minute, I still need a second to process all of that."

"Take all your time," Dahyun answered as warmly as she could, heaving out a sigh of herself, as she leaned back into her seat. It was pretty relieving to get all of this off of her chest. A weight off her shoulders. 

For now at least. Dahyun knew that when she would next see Tzuyu, all of the weight would drop back on her, anvil style. But right now, she allowed herself a bit of relief.

"Okay Dahyun, so I have a few questions," Jihyo said after thinking a while.

"I may have answers, no guarantees," Dahyun responded, a bit hesitant to find herself in the compromising position of having to admit things to Jihyo that she wasn't even ready to admit to herself.

"Hmm. Alright, first question. How does hearing the name 'Tzuyu' make you feel?"

Oof. Right in the gut. Dahyun felt her face heat up, and tried to force back an embarrassed smile.

She didn't know how it made her feel. She let herself smile a bit more genuinely when she imagined the girl. Her wide smile that never failed to contaminate Dahyun, her laugh that always resonated at Dahyun's jokes. Even just her resting face; she would pout a little and naturally just bob her head gently to an imaginary rhythm. Dahyun liked thinking about Tzuyu. But that was all she was going to allow herself to admit. If she were to f*ll for another girl, shit might get hectic. Plus, there was no way that Jihyo was going to learn all of that.

"Nothing in particular, a smile or something, I don't know."

"Hmm. Ya look a little embarrassed here. Are you perhaps…" Jihyo took a long and comedic Jojo' Bizzare Adventure-esque pause, resulting a laugh from Dahyun, "HIDING THE TRUTH FROM ME!?"

"No, no, I swear," Dahyun said between laughs, "It's just an embarrassing question," Jihyo had tried to catch her lacking with her comedy, but Dahyun couldn't slip up and let her know.

"Okay, alright, I accept your answer," Jihyo said after studying Dahyun's face a little more, "Next question, how did it feel to kiss her?"

Dahyun's blush intensified, as she choked at the sound of the question. lAnother tough one, for sure. But this one she could answer truthfully, no matter how embarrassing.

"Is it bad if I say that was without a doubt the best kiss I've ever had?" she said, shy and uncertain to even answer the question at all.

"Oop, tea," Jihyo said, tightening her lips into a closed 'O' shape, and then letting out a chuckle. 

"I feel so bad," Dahyun moaned into her tiny hands that now tried to cover her face, "All the time and love that I gave to Chaeyoung, all the kisses I gave her, but this one wrapped in bizzare situations take the cake?"

"You can't really blame yourself, Dubu. The girl has experience."

"I mean, yeah but still…"

"Don't worry about all that. Last question, how did it feel when you saw the other girl come out of the room yesterday?"

Ugh. The question that Dahyun dreaded the most. It was like when the other girls in class in middle school would ask if she liked Eunwoo over and over again. The question felt somehow outrageous. 

But it couldn't hurt to face her true feelings when it came to this one, could it?

"I don’t know, I felt… disappointed? Angry, maybe? There was a pit in my stomach, and my heart did drop into it, but other than that I can't really recall a specific feeling. Maybe just a blend of confusion, hurt and eventual… jeal-"

No. She couldn't say that word. Despite saying the opposite a few seconds earlier, she couldn't. It would force her to face things she didn't want to face at the moment.

She continued, ignoring that last part, "Either way, in hindsight, there's definitely a lot of feeling sorry, especially to her" Jihyo didn't seem to have noticed the awkward cut, which made Dahyun thankful, "I don't know what Tzuyu was feeling when she was doing whatever she did with the other girl, but it can't have been good. Otherwise, I feel like she probably would have talked to me and-"

"Stop, don't say that," Jihyo interrupted Dahyun with a hand on the younger's shoulder, " You can't blame yourself for feeling uncomfortable in a situation. It was your right to stop the kiss from continuing, and you can't force yourself to be comfortable with a situation. You find the right thing, Dubu," Jihyo ended.

Dahyun wasn't completely convinced, but she would take it for the time being, "Thank you, Jihyo. That means a lot," Jihyo flashed a smile before getting up.

"You wanna go for a little walk before class starts again? Get some fresh air?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure," Dahyun was a bit surprised at the request. Was this how she usually treated Chaeyoung? Because honestly, Dahyun could get used to this. "But first, tell me. What would you do in my situation to build the bridge back to Tzuyu?"

"Hmm, a tough one I see," Jihyo struggled with the question for a minute or two before finally responding, "I would say, like tonight or tomorrow, or whenever you feel comfortable, just sit her down and talk to her. I can't tell you what to tell her, because I don't know her like you do, but I know you'll know what to say," Jihyo was now holding Dahyun's hand with her own two, a comforting look in her eyes. Kinda like a mom.

"Just make sure you don't take  _ too _ much time, alright," she finished, leading Dahyun down from her chair by the hand before letting go.

"Yeah," Dahyun said, a newfound determination in her voice. Jihyo had somehow managed to instill her with some sort of courage, “I’ll try to talk to her tonight. Thank you, Jihyo,” Dahyun trailed before closing with that last part.

“Anytime!” Jihyo started heading towards the exit, Dahyun behind her, before she stopped to look at the younger, flashing her a smile, “And Dahyun?”

“Yeah?”

“You got this,” she said, again like a supportive mother. And it really calmed down the remaining nerves that were still bugging.

“Thanks,” Dahyun chuckled out, probably looking a bit shy and slightly embarrassed at the corniness of the interaction. She shook her head to get herself back in the game, “Alright, let’s go on this walk, shall we?”

“Yup yup!” Jihyo responded with a large amount of enthusiasm.

  
  


…

  
  


The day had been really fucking long, and all Tzuyu wanted by this point was to get home, take a shower, find something to eat, and dive into bed. Without having to see Dahyun. She didn’t know how she would accomplish this, but she sure as hell hoped that she could.

Thoughts of Dahyun had been haunting her mind all day. Why had she slept with Elkie? Was it to make her jealous? What had made her come to the conclusion that that was the right thing to do?

The kiss had been… special, and she wasn’t going to deny that. It was the first kiss she had ever had… where she didn’t wish that her partner was Nayeon. And she honestly didn't know what to call that. Progress, success, or defeat, and abandon? In any case, she just wanted to spend the night on her own and unwind from her first day. Was that too much to ask?

Apparently so. 

Tzuyu opened the door home in silent prayer, hoping that she wouldn't see what she did end up seeing. Dahyun sitting on the couch.

“Hi, Tzuyu,” Dahyun shakily breathed out, closing up into a ball as the younger reciprocated the greeting, very reluctant herself.

Dahyun raised her eyes before speaking and Tzuyu saw the puppiest of dog eyes, somewhat apologetic, but also extremely forgiving. In that moment, seeing her look this frail, Tzuyu truly felt like a monster. Something munched at her soul in a way that she couldn't explain, other than ‘I fucking hate this feeling;’

Dahyun started, a little more confident this time,

“If it's fine with you, could we talk for a bit?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter [@dubusfluff](https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also find me on curious cat at [dubusfluff](https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff)


	8. Two Types of Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry for updating so late. I just had a bunch of stuff in my life to take care of since I'm going to college in September and had to figure things out for then. I'm not sure about the update after this one, cuz I'm supposed to be taking mock exams, but I have time at home with the virus and all the quarantine stuff, so I'll see. Don't expect it 100% though.
> 
> But without further ado, Enjoy!

It was obvious that this was coming. Tzuyu just didn't know it was gonna come so soon. She tried her best to hide her surprise when she heard the words escape Dahyun's lips, but it probably still showed through.

Dahyun's lips… the same lips that had led her to the edge of this world, and would have led her out of it if their owner hadn't stopped it from happening.

"Oh, yeah, um," Tzuyu stumbled to form a sentence, apparently more shocked than she realized. Or maybe it was just Dahyun and her cute little look that was in her eyes, “Y-yeah, sure we can talk. What about?” Tzuyu tried to sound natural and pretended that she didn’t know why this discussion was warranted.

That was probably a mistake.

The second she said that, Tzuyu noticed a wince escape from Dahyun. A glint of sadness instilled itself in the blonde’s eyes, and even though she was trying to hold it back, some discomfort was visible in her now stiffer pose.  _ Was our kiss that meaningless to you? _ was probably the main thing going through her mind right now. And it hurt Tzuyu so see that she had done even more harm to Dahyun.

And Tzuyu was right on. The idea that the kiss meant less to her than it had to Dahyun scared her a little, and made her feel uncomfortable, considering Tzuyu had initiated it. Would she just do this on a whim? Is this how it feels to be one of the girls she fucks one day and never talks to after doing so? Would Dahyun become one of these girls?

“Friday night,” Dahyun almost asked, “Don’t you remember what happened?” She would have wanted to sound a little less desperate and hurt.

“Oh. Right. Yeah, of course we can talk about it. Just let me wash up real quick?” Tzuyu sounded a little disappointed, maybe like she wanted to avoid the subject. And just for that, Dahyun considered leaving it alone, not talking about it, and continuing to live as if nothing had happened. Tzuyu’s reaction to the question had already made her feel a little insecure and now she was having second thoughts about everything.

But then she remembered what Jihyo had told her. She really liked Tzuyu and she didn't want to risk losing the relationship that they already had. And she also wanted to clear things up with her. So she blocked out all of the doubts (for now at least, maybe they would return after they were done talking), and let her determination take over.

"So, how was your day?" Dahyun asked, probably sounding a little nervous. But starting with small talk was better than just getting into the actual area of interest.

"I mean, it went normal," Tzuyu answered nonchalantly. She paused for a second, expecting to be done, but when Dahyun didn't say anything, she continued with a little ‘oh’, “Like, we went over some basics in every class, I met some girls who are friendly, and it seems like things are gonna be fun throughout this course. You?”

Dahyun was happy she had passed over the question to her; she could keep the small talk going before getting right into it. “Oh, well, I started by meeting up with Jihyo’s friend…” Dahyun went on to describe her entire day before feeling comfortable enough to speak, a little to Tzuyu’s impatience, it seemed like, “... and then I got here,” Dahyun finally said.

“Hmm, pretty interesting day,” Tzuyu said after seconds of thought, still seeming as careless as she had before. That ticked Dahyun off a bit, and she was ready to start actually talking now. No aggressiveness, but she had to make sure to Tzuyu what her feelings were and at the same time clear up anything that the younger may have to ask her.

“Okay, I think I’m ready now,” Dahyun took a deep breath, “So, um, I wanted to talk about what happened on Friday night when we came home-”

“When we kissed after orientation, right. You already said that,” Tzuyu interrupted, but it wasn’t mean or uncomfortable like she had been ever since she had gotten back. Maybe she had wanted to talk about this too, but was feeling nervous as well? That didn’t really quell Dahyun’s nerves either though.

“R-right,” she responded. She was sure it would get easier as the conversation went on and her nerves were just acting up to start the conversation, but it didn't make anything easier on her.

Meanwhile, Tzuyu was thinking that she had to take the leap of faith now. She hadn't acted the most keen on discussing this because she thought Dahyun might not have been ready, but it was clear that she was at least trying really hard. So Tzuyu would do the same.

Her brain was bent on saying something in the next half a second, but she didn't know whether to apologize or tell Dahyun how much she actually enjoyed the kiss (which would be much more of a leap of faith than the first), so her brain, geniously, thought: why not say both in the same sentence and see how shocked and flustered Dahyun would get? So she shot.

“... wanted to get some bases clear with our relationsh-”

“Dahyun, I’m really super sorry I did what I did, I don’t know what got a hold of me, and also that kiss was probably the best I’ve ever had.”

Dahyun: 

Just saying the word ‘sorry’ to Dahyun felt like such a heavy weight off her shoulders. She felt like she could breathe without feeling like a monster, like she could stop thinking of the older girl with a negative connotation already. But this wasn’t all. The most important step had yet to come; Dahyun still had to forgive her. But there wouldn't be much forgiving being done if the older girl continued to stare blankly at nothing, her face as red as a literal stop sign. After a few seconds of this, Tzuyu decided to intervene.

“Hey~” she hummed, waving her hands in front of the older’s eyes, “Dahyun, you good? I still need you to forgive me~”

If Dahyun’s face was the blinking guy meme, then her brain was literally the inside of spongebob’s brain meme. A fucking billion different thoughts were cruising around in there, some going fast, others taking their time. Had she really just said that? That kiss was the  _ best _ in her life? Tzuyu who fucked a different girl every third day had had the  _ BEST _ kiss of her life with  _ Dahyun _ ? As in  _ KIM DAHYUN THE MUSIC NERD WHO HAD ONLY EVER KISSED ONE PERSON _ ? 

Dahyun shook herself out of her trance, despite still being visibly surprised, and tried to utter words to no avail. Her face still glowing red. What she wanted to day, she had no clue

“Okay, let me rephrase that,” Tzuyu said, seeming much more comfortable now, probably closer to her normal level of comfort when she would talk to Dahyun, “It wasn’t the best kiss i’ve ever received  _ technique _ -wise, I've definitely had better.” 

Of course it wasn’t. Dahyun let out a heavy breath of disappointed relief. Also, ouch?

“But I wasn’t lying when I said that it was the best kiss I've ever had,” Tzuyu hurriedly continued, seemingly to quell Dahyun of the sort of discomfort and embarrassment she was currently feeling, and it worked pretty well. Just after hearing that, something started to stir in her heart, wanting to outwardly express her agitation and restlessness after hearing those words for the second time. They hadn’t come from out of nowhere like they had the first time, and they weren’t as powerful either. Something more bite-sized that she could actually ingest and enjoy. And enjoying it, she was. But only on the inside for now. No need to get her hopes up already; it would just end up in pain. Wait, but what was she going to be getting her hopes up for? Did she…?

“It was the first time that… Okay you know what, we’re going to have a big history lesson. Like now.” Tzuyu continued, starting off what seemed like a pretty long monologue.

Dahyun normally would speak at this point, ask what the hell Tzuyu was talking about, what history lesson she was getting at. But it was just so elevating to hear Tzuyu speak casually to her again after what seemed like so long. So she just shut up and listened. Soaked in the sound of the younger’s voice as she told Dahyun the story of how she had been madly in love with Nayeon ever since she had met her. A story that was of a pretty fucked up nature, but Dahyun continued to listen. She would listen with her full attention and be there to care for Tzuyu if she needed it.

“You’ve never asked me why I have sex with so many people, and thats why. I use other people to distract myself from Nayeon. Because she’s usually the only thing in my mind. And sometimes it gets too much to bear for me, so I need a distraction, a replacement. It’s shitty, I know. Selfish too. and I hate myself for it. But I keep doing it. It’s the only way I know to blow off steam,'' Tzuyu was now looking down at her legs, criss-cross applesauced on the couch, fiddling with her hands that rested in her laps. The tone of her voice was heartbroken, apologetic. Maybe even dead. But also strong and sure of itself. She didn’t regret anything that she had done, but she was sorry.

Hearing these emotions in Tzuyu’s voice triggered something in Dahyun who quickly placed her hand on the younger’s back, getting closer to her while moving the hand in circles. She tried to make it as soft and soothing as she could, and with that motion, told Tzuyu that she was there for her.

“And to be a hundred pecent honest, I really don’t know why I slept with Elkie yesterday. I don’t know what made me think that would be a good idea. Maybe I wanted to get you jealous? But for what? Maybe get you to regret cutting the kiss…? Like, honestly, I have no idea. And I’m really sorry I did. I had no right to,” Tzuyu was genuine and true with that statement.

“Hey Tzuyu, it's fine. You’re good,” Dahyun responded reassuringly, “I never once doubted your intentions. Just your actions,” the last phrase warranted a little laugh from both girls, “And now that you've cleared it up, and apologized, I don’t have any reason to be mad at you. I wasn’t even mad in the first place, just a little confused. But it makes sense now. So thank you,” Dahyun tried to smile in a way that would make Tzuyu feel safe.

Tzuyu returned the smile to Dahyun, probably to show that she had gotten the message and that she did feel safe. She started after a few seconds of eye contact, “Also, when I say that the kiss we shared was the best I’ve ever experienced, what I mean is that it was the first time where I kissed someone and didn't have to hide reality behind an illusion. Every time I had kissed a girl in the past, my brain or my heart or whatever would replace the person that I was kissing with Nayeon. It sort of quelled my heart’s thirst for her? If that makes sense? Either way, when we kissed, it was different. It felt proper. Nayeon was nowhere near my mind, and honestly, it genuinely felt like we were the only two people in the world.” Dahyun had been blushing ever since Tzuyu had started talking about their kiss, and the younger joined her as she was articulating that last part.

Both girls stayed seated on the couch, and attempted to maintain eye contact with each other, but before long, all the embarrassment from what Tzuyu said forced them to give up. 

But this was good. Tzuyu finally felt as though everything had died down. As if she could smile around the girl again, like they would be able to laugh again, to cuddle like they had been in the past already. But she wasn’t completely sure. So to test the waters, she lied down into a side hug, wrapping her arms around the Korean.

A slight 'oh' followed by a glance, a big smile, and her arm around Tzuyu was her response.

It was complete. They were back.

  
  


…

  
  


“Chae, do you think this shirt is good?” Sana asked from her doorway, looking into the mirror across the room.

“Sana, you do realize that we’re only meeting Jihyo and Momo, right?” Chaeyoung arrived, once again, probably looking as exhausted of this as she was feeling. Sana had called her over to ask how different articles of clothing looked at least four times now, and she hadn’t kept any of the clothes she had asked Chaeyoung about. But it did have a sort of endearing side to it as well.

“You don’t have to look exceedingly good or anything. We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry,” Chaeyoung said that, but she knew that in actuality, both pairs would be arriving at the vintage diner at least half an hour after the time they had decided; Momo was a part of the other pair.

“Yeah, but,” Sana turned to Chaeyoung and slightly leaned in, ending up much closer to the younger’s face than she had anticipated. Staring right into Chaeyoung’s eyes and in a tone that could make even a deaf girl fall to her knees, Sana completed the sentence, “I wanna look good for  _ you _ today.”

They kept eye contact for a cool second, the tension rising around them. Chaeyoung felt her face redden with heat, but for some reason kept eye contact, as if Sana was proposing a challenge to her. 

And of course, she had to accept it.

“If you need my honest input,” Chayoung managed to mask her fluster with some makeshift confidence, not moving or breaking eye contact for even a split second, “You’re to die for right now.”

She felt her satisfaction rise along with her heart rate as Sana’s face painted itself a rosy pink and her gaze weakened. Soon enough Sana broke eye contact, and Chaeyoung felt like a winner. It was actually the first time in a while that she had won one of these who-can-make-the-other-blush-harder competitions. Because yeah, those were a thing between her and Sana. Since Chaeyoung had moved in, they would have these competitions (that were probably at least half-serious, but Chaeyoung wasn’t ready for that conversation) with unspoken rules in which they would just try to make the other blush more, using whatever. Usually, Sana would win, which was no surprise, really. She was known as ‘the formidable gay’ back in high school. But Chaeyoung would have her moments too, just like now.

“I’ll be ready in a few,” Sana sounded like she was smirking, not at 100% confidence yet, but still pretty close. Chaeyoung wondered how she recovered from these types of situations so fast sometimes. She got into her room and closed the door for the first time since they had started getting ready, and Chaeyoung was pretty sure she heard a very muffled squeal of panic. Maybe Sana wasn’t so good at recovering after all. And Chaeyoung was honestly excited that she had managed to do that to Sana, the queen of the queers. 

She plopped down onto the couch, smiling to herself, and took out her little notepad from her handbag. She might as well distract herself with some quick sketches while waiting for Sana to finish. As she sketched, she found her hand moving by itself, with a will of its own. She would usually let her hand take control when she was just sketching to relieve stress, not really paying attention to much, and it really didn't bother her. That is, until Sana came out of her room, finally ready (and seemingly recovered from her gay panic attack), and saw the drawing.

"Oh you drew me!" she said in a really wholesome tone, which confused Chaeyoung. She had drawn what? "Chaengie that's so fricking cute~~!" Sana dove into a confused Chaeyoung, who after a few seconds of the older's weight on top of her and a bit of wriggling managed to pull out the notepad from under Sana's weight.

Holy mother Shin Yeji.

It  _ was _ Sana.

Her sculpted nose, her deep, rich eyes, her cute little overbit smile, her breathtaking beauty; it was all there (not to give too much credit to Cheeyoung on her drawing skills). Why was it all there, though? What had incentivized Chaeyoung's hand to draw Sana? Nothing major, right? It wasn't a big deal, right? And neither was the fact that she was really happy at herself for doing this, right?

"Alright, alright, we get it," Chaeyoung said a little distorted from Sana now pinching her cheeks, "Can we leave now? We're gonna be late soon enough."

"You know that's not true when Momo's there," Sana smiled, finally getting up, holding out her hand for Caheyoung to grab it. It was kinda their thing. Everytime they were out and walking, ever since the orientation meetup, they would always be holding hands. It was cute, Chaeyoung thought.

They had been walking for a good five minutes now, talking about literally nothing. Sana made weird sounds, then Chaeyoung responded with sounds of her own, and then they both brokedown cracking up. That had been their whole conversation so far. In the middle of one of her sounds, though, Sana switched to a loud "OH!!!"

Obviously this panicked Chaeyoung who let go of Sana's hand and jolted to face behind them, in a fighting stance, dead serious "WHO dares?!" She bellowed in the deepest and most menacing voice possible (which wasn't actually that deep but don't tell her that).

It took a minute for Sana to understand what was going on. All that had happened on her side was that she had realized hadn't asked Chaengie about her first day at school, and so she was about to ask that…

  1. Sana couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter when she realized what was happening. Chaeyoung. SON CHAEYOUNG was ready to fight for her. It was honestly really cute and wholesome, and Sana felt a certain warmth in her heart behind all of her laughter.



After realizing that the problem was non-existent, Chaeyoung's face turned blank as she blushed, soaking up Sana's laughter in embarrassment. That sight was cute too, of course, something to expect only out of Chaeyoung.

They continued walking, Chaeyoung having to slow down occasionally to let Sana continue laughing for a bit. When she was finally done though, Sana moved next to Chaeyoung, whose face was half buried in her scarf, still mostly flustered. She took Chaeyoung's hand in a way that tried to show the younger how appreciated and loved she really was. 

Not knowing (or caring, really) if it worked completely, she leaned in for a kiss on Chaeng's cheek. "You know I love you, right? And I'm so grateful that I have you. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the whole wide world," she whispered into Chaeyoung's ear, trying to sound as soothing and reassuring as she possibly could.

If the hand hadn't helped the Korean, then this definitely had. She tried to hide it, but her blush creeped through even her high scarf, and Sana smiled at herself in satisfaction for that. This wasn't even a game of who-can-make-the-other-blush-harder, and Sana had done that on purpose. She truly wanted Chaeyoung to know how much she loved her. 

Even if she had to pretend it was… well, platonic.

"Plus, that was the cutest thing I've ever seen," Sana chuckled, in her usual cheerful tone, kissing the back of Chaeyoung's hand, who just let it happen. "Either way, as I was saying before I got so  _ rudely _ interrupted by your chivalry, how was college?"

At this, Chaeyoung finally perked up, seeming ready to answer, which honestly reassured Sana a little bit. She seemed a little  _ too _ unresponsive for her to have been 100% comfortable with the whole situation, but it seemed like Sana may have misread, and she was actually fine.

"Oh, it was actually really really cool!" Chaeyoung's eyes glistened under the post light as her excitement shone through them. "I met this really nice girl named Somi and she literally draws like a goddess, and she went to the same high school as these other girls named Yoojung and Soeun who also draw stupid good, and I, like, instantly had this connection with the three of them and now we're definetly on our way to become best best friends."

"Pretty enthusiastic response there," Sana joked. "But I'm really happy that you're making friends and that everything is going swell for you in that department. You've always been good at talking to people, y'know."

"Yeah?" Chaeyoung asked, a big dumb smile still plastered on her face; the type that made Sana's heart warm up all the way to right below melting point, so that the giggle that was usually coming go tip it over into magma territory. And the giggle came. And it acted upon its usual purpose, except it only felt stronger. It wasn't a tip over anymore, it was a full shove into the pit of the volcano, causing the volcano of Sana's stomach release this sort of tingly, warm feeling throughout her entire body. 

It was soft. It was pleasant. Sana loved it. She loved Chaeyoung.

"Oh look here we are!" Momo's voice interrupted Sana's brain from processing and appreciating the Chaeyoung-induced tinglyness coursing through her.

"And look, here  _ they _ are!" Jihyo almost squealed out of excitement for seeing two of her best friends approach the door to the diner where they would be having their dinner.

"Oooooh~! Nation's girlfriends I see," Chaeyoung said in a troll-y voice.

"Y'all literally haven't let go of each other's hands since we saw you on Friday, who are you calling Nation's girlfriends," Jihyo trolled back.

Sana broke into laughter as she heard a soft and conceding "Touchée" from her partner before Chaeyoung joined her in her laughter.

"Wait no, I actually like the Nation's girlfriends thing, babe," Momo said, sounding surprised at herself for that.

"Oh? Then we're taking it back, Sachaeng. Sorry"

"What, no fair~!" Sana whined

"Sana, its fine, we'll just steal it from them; I'll expose us until they have no choice but to give it back to us,"

Under all the playful whining that escaped Sana in response, it took so much for her to get into her head the fact that they were just joking around. It took everything for her to keep her hopes down, and it took it all for her to stop herself from hurting. She didn't even know why it would hurt; Chaeng was literally only giving her positive signals that told her that their relationship was advancing in a romantic direction. 

But something in her just wanted to hurt.

She had to keep it inside, though, even if only for the dinner. For the sake of the others. She had to distract herself, and Jihyo gave her the golden opportunity for that.

"Alright, let's get this double date bread, gays. Quite literally, considering there's probably gonna be some bread in the appetizer basket," she said, almost breaking down in laughter at the end of the first sentence.

A double date… Sana's imagination ran to some wild places.

fUCK.

Yeah she was distracted now. And probably not in a good way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Follow me on twitter [@dubusfluff](https://twitter.com/dubusfluff)  
> You can also find me on curious cat at [dubusfluff](https://curiouscat.me/dubusfluff)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and I really look forward to writing more. Just a heads up though, dont count on really frequent updates, because I am still in high school, and these next few months are gonna be rough and hectic for me. So yeah. Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!


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